Friday, February 27, 2009

OMG! Not 1 single comment from last week's blog?

I can't believe its been a week and not even 1 blog comment from last week! Am I losing my touch (yeah right). Maybe you were all too bust watching the Oscars (that must be it). We had a small gathering here at the house that night. Food, beer, wine, and Mr. Oscar himself. I was hoping (and I do mean hoping and praying), that Hugh Jackman would've been naked as they had reported earlier the week before on line. No such luck, but he did look dapper in his tux and wavey hair (I can imagine him naked)!

Slum dog millionaire won 8 oscars. Sean Penn (dump the misses for me) won for best actor for Milk. Kate Winslet won for best actress for the reader (which I have yet to see). penelope Cruz won for best supporting actress and heath ledger won for best supporting actor for the dark knight. All in all, it was a good show, minus the dance/musical montage half-way thru with beyonce, zach efron, and hugh (again). I liked the opening musical number hugh had done at the beginning of the broadcast, but do we REALLY need another during the overly bearing long show? I'd rather see paint dry on sean penn's body (pass me a brush)!

It wouldn't be an oscar's show, without winners and losers of fashion. Miley cyrus or should I say ye old christmas tree. All she needed was a star on her head and bam! Sophia Loren. I know your the most ageless actress around (minus joan collins), but that dress you wore was hideous! It looked like a gown you had in a garment bag for over 50 years! Then Jessica Beil (why she was there was beyond me). Your dress looked like a drapery you pulled off your curtain rod from your living room window (it looks better on the window, trust me)! Miss viola from the movie doubt looked like she was auditioning to be a solid gold dancer rather than attend for best supporting actress!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Goodbye saint Valentine, Hello blarney stones

Another holiday (and an overly hyped one) has come and gone. I, of course had to work on valentines day over an 8 hour shift. When I finally DID leave work, I had called Old Chicago and ordered a single piece of turtle cheesecake for mike and I to share as our dessert after dinner. When I got to OC to pick up my cheesecake, I gave the host (who by the way looked way to dumb to work there) my name which I had given when I called in my order. He looks up at me and says "is it christian?" No moron, but close! Then about 3 other employees varying in range from hosts/hostesses and a server ALL walked up to see if Captain oblivious needed assistance ( too late). I know that some people are missing a few brain cells, but come on! Go clean a table or color in your coloring books and scoot!

When i finally got home, Mike had a dozen roses waiting for me (aaww). he made me an awesome dinner of panko crusted pork chops, green beans, and wild rice. I gave him his gifts of a Gift card to the quilting store downtown, and his 16 piece box of chocolate from la chocolate'. We settled in for the evening and watched some t.v. I went to bed, and Mike fell asleep on the sofa
(now that's what I call romance)!

Sunday was LoLa's 1 year birthday (our springer spaniel). I stopped at the store and bought some pound cake, ice cream, and some strawberries for a shortcake kinda dessert (12.99 for a 8 inch-2 layer cake in the bakery! I think not)! We invited our friends Norm and My best friend Tony, who was visiting from South dakota over for dinner. The new dog toys that Mike and I, and that Norm bought Miss LoLa lasted about 2 hours, then they were trashed. At least LoLa had a good birthday. I think.....

Monday was onezie-funzie day. After working that evening, I got off work and headed straight home to change into my union suit for the party. Tony ended up coming with and he wasn't wearing anything red except his underwear ( TMI). We headed out and on the way to livingston, where the 1Z party was Tony had to stop for gas ( next time try beano)! To the holiday gas station we went. As he was filling up, I ran in ( o.k. more like briskly walked) in and grabbed myself a water and a bag of caramel bugles, which Tony has had before, and of course which I had to try. I kept getting texts from everyone who were waiting on both of us to get to the bar.....

Brian, texted me "did u get my last text" several times. I finally texted back "YES!" Then he asked me If I was upset or angry? I said no, why would he ask me that? Turns out when your texting or chatting on-line with someone when you use capitol letters, your shouting at them. I, of course being up on my text/IM knowledge didn't know that. YOU DO LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY!!

Tony and I finally get to the office (the name of the bar), and everyone is giving both of us crap (not crap literally, verbally). They were saying "did your grandma drive you both over the hill". Tony, at one point said it took so long for both of us to get there, because I was going down on him. N-O! Everyone was so anxious for us to get there, because they were waiting to do southern comfort butt cream shots (don't ask). We did our shots, went to the mint had another round there, went to the murray, where we had a 3rd round of butt cream (I like this butt cream, I am not as sore) and I had 2 cosmos ( I feel so carrie bradshaw). Then onto the stockman for final call. After we closed down the stockman, we drove out to the truck stop for some breakfast.

Jessica ( a.k.a. Cherrie) was so bombed, she fell asleep waiting for her food. Of course once it arrived at the table she was wide awake. I had never seen Jessica that trashed before. I kinda liked that side of her. I like her when she's sober, but when she's drunk she let's herself be wild and free (like a baby deer in the forest). All in all, it was an awesome 1Z.

I had to work on tuesday evening, which was so pleasant when your hung over. I drank a red bull and a regular coffee during my shift. I was there until almost 11:00 p.m.! Walt, our new GM decides to have "Ben" the new cook on by himself with me that night. Ben has NEVER cooked before by myself. Then he had to do all his closing duties which he waited to do until 10:00 p.m. instead of doing them as he went on thru the night. I was done myself by 10:15 ( and hung over even) and could've left.
But, when your a shift manager and have to set the alarm for the entire building, well you get the idea. Then 5 minutes before ben got done, his girlfriend called and asked If he was still there. Hmmm. What do U think? yes he is, and no he CAN'T talk!

Wednesday afternoon, becky and I went to see the new friday the 13th. It was very good. Of course, they show jason's body being rolled into lake crystal by the two remaining survivors of jason's terror, and then both survivor's are sitting on the end of the dock. Jason jumps through the walk way and grabs the girl (wow! I DID see that coming). So, a sequel is in order (shock).

On a side note for those being chased by a mad man. When you go to hide in a barn or a shed, and your trying to find a hiding place, don't go for the first object you see, that you think will hide your entire existence, but actually won't. In the new 13th, the girl survivor and her brother decide to hide in a barn. The brother says "hide" and you hide in back of a barrel that's as big as a large soda cup from the concessions counter. Ooh no, jason WON'T see you in back of that (wink). Then when your brother has a chain wrapped around his neck and that chain is pulling him towards a wood chipper blade, don't stand there with a look of confusion on your face like "should I help him from jason?" YES! And your not even a dumb blond!

And speaking of not so dumb blonds. On american idol this week, the top 3 from group 1 advanced into the top 12. Alexis grace (love ya), oil rigger Michael Sarver ( want you), and finally Danny Gokey (I wanna have your baby, If I could). Miss Tatiana DIDN'T make the top 3. I am shocked! Not really. I loved the results show on wednesday night, when it came down to tatiana and danny. Ryan asked her if she thought she made the top 3. She answered it was up to god. Well, god said no!

Maybe If your annoying laughter wasn't so apparent, and the fact that your full of yourself as the best thing to happen to Idol since Sanjaya (need I say more). Then when danny was asked to sing "hero", which he sang the previous night, tatiana was crying and whimpering in back of the other 9 who hadn't made it, who were I am sure just as upset they didn't make it, but had the respect and courtesy to watch danny sing his song. Simon actually had a good point. Tatiana you are a DRAMA QUEEN! So you didn't make the top 12. dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and go back to your job at dairy queen ( can I have a blizzard)?

I am auditioning for the foreigner on monday evening at the ellen theatre in Bozeman. I will let you know how it goes. And of course the Oscar's this sunday evening! I'll have a wrap up on those next friday also. Until next week, Make it a good one!

Friday, February 13, 2009

And what A week it was!

Its hard to believe that valentines day, is already here. Never mind the fact that wally world has a huge ass display full of cheap flowers, cheaper cakes, cookies, and candies, and the cheapest greeting cards displays all when you walk in the store by the produce section (let's see, lettuce, tomato, ooh yeah flowers). Then we have our beloved St. pat's day around the corner ( who the hell buys those shamrock string lights and ACTUALLY hangs them on their homes)? I love the latter of the 2 holidays (any excuse to get drunk)! Any holiday that celebrates alcohol consumption AND men in kilts without underwear! I wanna move 2 Ireland (blarney me)!

Did anyone watch the grammies? Yeah, me either. I did start to watch, but after the first 30-45 minutes, I switched over to D housewives (a wise choice). I did see Kid Rock perform and he was actually good. Before that, Miss houston (who is a problem), was presenting the award for best R & B performance. Then right before she announces the winner, she breaks out in a congrats to Clive Davis the producer and rambles on for-ever and has him stand up to take a bow, for winning a lifetime achievement award of some kind, which he accepted THE NIGHT BEFORE! Wake up whiney, I mean whitney. Quick ass kissing your producer!

Then the most shocking news of the grammy evening (no, not Miss abdul's gown). On a quick side note to paula, Cleopatra sent a sand in time message, and she wants her gown back! Chris Brown was arrested for hitting a woman, whom we later found out was Rihanna. WAY 2 GO GIRL! Anyone who hits anyone, no matter who they are, must be punished! Good luck being a prison bitch Mr. Brown. say Hi 2 Boy george for me (do you really want to hurt me? No really. I am into that sorta thing).

Then dancing with the stars that same evening, was teasing us with the new season of hopefuls vying for that dancing crown. Some of the stars I did recognize. Others, I haven't EVEN heard of. I guess Madge was busy counting all her money from her sold-out sticky and sweet tour to call the show back. When they say stars, there should be actual stars. Brad, hugh, Bale.

I watched A Idol to see whom was going to be the 36 lucky finalists. I can't believe ta-tiana made it! O.K. I am not THAT surprised. But that overbearing, annoying laugh has got to go! I don't even think she's THAT good of a singer (even nursing home residents gave her a 2 out of 10). I expect she won't last long.

On wednesday evening, mike, becky, rick, and myself went and saw Taken. It was actually better than I expected (I say that about every movie I have doubt about. Except the movie Doubt). Last saturday I went with Miss buckycatt, bonnie, bucky's parents, and mike to see Milk. I loved it. Sean Penn was awesome as Harvey Milk ( and hot as ever)! remember when Sean was a not as good of an actor in the early beginning (need I mention Shanghai surprise. great bad flashback memory). He has really stepped up his game the last few years. I wanna see him in my shower naked in 2 weeks for an interview (I can dream).

Not much happened this week at work, like it did last week (redneck's must've bought their milk at the store). It was rather nice and quiet (well, except for that screaming kid with her parents. I should've offered her a metal fork 2 suck on)! make sure everyone goes and sees the NEW friday the 13th! I am going on wednesday with beccalicious. I am also attending her annual onezie-funzie event on monday evening. Its an anti valentines day drink fest (even though I do have Mike, I am still invited). I will update all (2) of you next friday with the details. Don't forget the amazing race starts sunday night! Until next week!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Good-bye January hello February

I can't believe I am ACTUALLY keeping my promise, and writing a blog once a week. When you think about it, once a week isn't that bad. Its like anything you'd do in a one week period. Washing your car, laundry, surfing the web for porn (ooh wait, scratch that). I was so excited to read a new comment from my blog last friday. A big shot out to harmonious in NY! Spread the word to all your friends, to check me out (literally). Also a huge shot out 2 buckycatt! God, I feel like I am giving an acceptance speech at an awards show. Cue the music to cut him off from babbling quick! That was a close one!

Well, as I am sure all of you have heard, bikini girl DIDAN'T make it to the 3rd round on A Idol. Then when she was leaving, she struck a couple poses (madonna you ain't sista), and pissed off judge Kara who I am sure is pleased as punch that bikini is gone.
We don't need another diva wanna be on Idol, we already have 4 plus ryan. So much for me being on now (like I had a chance)!
I went and saw the movie "the uninvited" on wednesday with beccalicious and rick (shock)! It was actually better than I expected.
It was much better than the unborn. Friday the 13th starts next friday the 13th (I know, bad pun). Jason is alive and kicking (more like axing) yet again. I am sure we'll see more camp crystal sequel's to come after this. I think they should make a friday the 13th with 13 celebrity's and the final survivor out of the 12 who get killed gets a chance at living and a new chevy cavalier.

what in the world?.....A woman who has 6 children, gives birth to 8 more! Either you really love kids, or you really like the attention having that many children gives you in your life (not to mention the book deal, the talk show circuit, and the increase in your monthly check from uncle sam, who isn't your uncle). If you have ANY more children, we are all tying off your tubes, and sewing your lips shut ( and I ain't talking about the set you use to eat and drink with).

O.K. so yesterday I am the grocery store, doing some shopping. I go to the dairy isle and get my milk (1%), and as I am walking towards the cooler, I see a woman on her cell, talking in her OUT LOUD voice to the person on the other end of her phone. At first I thought maybe the person who she's talking with is hard of hearing. Then I realized that this woman is one of those people who like to talk in their "out loud" voice, and doesn't care who or what is around her when she talks. So, being a smart person, I walk away and ignore her and head to the cereal isle (raison bran). As I walk toward the cereal I hear a familiar voice behind me. Its the "out loud" woman still on her phone, and still carrying on this conversation from 2 minutes ago.

As I turn to walk away to give her a nasty look (come on, we've all given that look), I hear her say "out loud"
"what's the name of your one dog you have again? I couldn't remember what your dogs name was this morning when I was in the shower, trying to remember"? O.K. its one thing to talk "out loud" on your cell, but then you go and add the visual of you naked in the shower, trying to think of your friend's dog, and what its name is. TOO MUCH INFORMATION! And all I wanted was my milk and cereal, so I can have a regular BM every morning (oops).

I have been reading the book "waiter rant" which I can totally relate to, seeing as how I am a waiter. I went on to the website to see a photo of the author, out of curiosity. he looked nothing like I had pictured him to look like. I pictured a tall, thin, and kinda a queen looking male. I saw a robust male with glasses who is actually rather cute (2 bad your str8).

The other evening when I was working by myself on the floor as a server and a supervisor, I had become a little steady with tables. A family of 5 walks in and asks for a booth (shock). I offer to clean off a booth which just left and they said that would be fine (like they'd say no thanks). I clean off the table and seat them. I have 3 other tables to take besides them, so I start taking drink orders from the family of 5. Everyone knew what they wanted to drink, except the one little girl at the table. As I am standing there, waiting to see what this little girl wants to drink (chlorine in 5min if she hasn't decided), I can feel the eyes of my other tables on the back of my neck, looking at me as if to say where's the server? The dad asks me to get the drinks for everyone at the table, who have decided what they want to drink and asks me to come back. I said "not a problem" (lie).

I come back with everyone's drinks, except the little girl who's STILL deciding (come on, the menu isn't THAT big), and then she FINALLY decides (water. figures). I start to take the food order for the table. We get to little miss undecided, and she actually knows what she wants, only to be shot down by mommy dearest. Her mother tells her she can't have that, and she can have this instead, then asks her daughter "do you want that or not" like its an actual choice she CAN make even though it has already been decided for her. The little girl stars throwing a fit and doesn't say anything. Then out of no where, the mother looks at her and says "you'd better decide what you want, the server won't be back for 3 more hours". Xcuse me?

Listen bitch, I have been patiently waiting for you and your family to decide on drinks (waters all around please), and then decide what you all want to eat, all the while making 3 other tables wait on you and your sorry asses! Then you tell your daughter I may not come back for 3 hours. Try the rest of your stay with us! I get the order from unlucky 21, feed them, take my other tables orders, and get caught up. When its time to drop off the bill, joan crawford hands me a credit card and asks me to ring her up (more like wring her neck). As I am walking away to run the card, she stops me and says "ooh wait can I see the total first?" Before I can even hand her the bill, she rips it out of my hands to look at it like a rhino charging its prey. I pray I never see them again for a good 6 months!

Then that same evening (how lucky can I get), I take a table of 3. Two redneck cowboys (my favorite) and a cowgirl (their whore). I take their order and get their drinks. The One asshole cowboy, orders a large milk, then asks for 2 count them 2 refills of milk, which I of course charge him for. I drop off the bill, and as I am taking an order at the table in front of them, I hear redneck (I like men sexually but will deny it, due to the fact people will think I am a homo) say I overcharged him for milk to his trailer trash hook up girlfriend. You wanted 3 glasses of milk. Its not my fault you drank all 3 glasses and then had to pay for all 3. Next time, due the math. I know you don't know HOW to due basic math, but when you ask for something more than once, and there is a charge for it each time you keep getting it, you have to pay for it each and every time.

That would be like going to a bar and ordering 3 drinks, and asking only to pay for 1 of the 3. Listen dumb ass, next time go to McDonald's where they're used to dumb asses like yourself. You can even get refills on your beverage for free, EXCEPT MILK!

Until next week, I am over and out!