Good-bye January hello February

I can't believe I am ACTUALLY keeping my promise, and writing a blog once a week. When you think about it, once a week isn't that bad. Its like anything you'd do in a one week period. Washing your car, laundry, surfing the web for porn (ooh wait, scratch that). I was so excited to read a new comment from my blog last friday. A big shot out to harmonious in NY! Spread the word to all your friends, to check me out (literally). Also a huge shot out 2 buckycatt! God, I feel like I am giving an acceptance speech at an awards show. Cue the music to cut him off from babbling quick! That was a close one!

Well, as I am sure all of you have heard, bikini girl DIDAN'T make it to the 3rd round on A Idol. Then when she was leaving, she struck a couple poses (madonna you ain't sista), and pissed off judge Kara who I am sure is pleased as punch that bikini is gone.
We don't need another diva wanna be on Idol, we already have 4 plus ryan. So much for me being on now (like I had a chance)!
I went and saw the movie "the uninvited" on wednesday with beccalicious and rick (shock)! It was actually better than I expected.
It was much better than the unborn. Friday the 13th starts next friday the 13th (I know, bad pun). Jason is alive and kicking (more like axing) yet again. I am sure we'll see more camp crystal sequel's to come after this. I think they should make a friday the 13th with 13 celebrity's and the final survivor out of the 12 who get killed gets a chance at living and a new chevy cavalier.

what in the world?.....A woman who has 6 children, gives birth to 8 more! Either you really love kids, or you really like the attention having that many children gives you in your life (not to mention the book deal, the talk show circuit, and the increase in your monthly check from uncle sam, who isn't your uncle). If you have ANY more children, we are all tying off your tubes, and sewing your lips shut ( and I ain't talking about the set you use to eat and drink with).

O.K. so yesterday I am the grocery store, doing some shopping. I go to the dairy isle and get my milk (1%), and as I am walking towards the cooler, I see a woman on her cell, talking in her OUT LOUD voice to the person on the other end of her phone. At first I thought maybe the person who she's talking with is hard of hearing. Then I realized that this woman is one of those people who like to talk in their "out loud" voice, and doesn't care who or what is around her when she talks. So, being a smart person, I walk away and ignore her and head to the cereal isle (raison bran). As I walk toward the cereal I hear a familiar voice behind me. Its the "out loud" woman still on her phone, and still carrying on this conversation from 2 minutes ago.

As I turn to walk away to give her a nasty look (come on, we've all given that look), I hear her say "out loud"
"what's the name of your one dog you have again? I couldn't remember what your dogs name was this morning when I was in the shower, trying to remember"? O.K. its one thing to talk "out loud" on your cell, but then you go and add the visual of you naked in the shower, trying to think of your friend's dog, and what its name is. TOO MUCH INFORMATION! And all I wanted was my milk and cereal, so I can have a regular BM every morning (oops).

I have been reading the book "waiter rant" which I can totally relate to, seeing as how I am a waiter. I went on to the website to see a photo of the author, out of curiosity. he looked nothing like I had pictured him to look like. I pictured a tall, thin, and kinda a queen looking male. I saw a robust male with glasses who is actually rather cute (2 bad your str8).

The other evening when I was working by myself on the floor as a server and a supervisor, I had become a little steady with tables. A family of 5 walks in and asks for a booth (shock). I offer to clean off a booth which just left and they said that would be fine (like they'd say no thanks). I clean off the table and seat them. I have 3 other tables to take besides them, so I start taking drink orders from the family of 5. Everyone knew what they wanted to drink, except the one little girl at the table. As I am standing there, waiting to see what this little girl wants to drink (chlorine in 5min if she hasn't decided), I can feel the eyes of my other tables on the back of my neck, looking at me as if to say where's the server? The dad asks me to get the drinks for everyone at the table, who have decided what they want to drink and asks me to come back. I said "not a problem" (lie).

I come back with everyone's drinks, except the little girl who's STILL deciding (come on, the menu isn't THAT big), and then she FINALLY decides (water. figures). I start to take the food order for the table. We get to little miss undecided, and she actually knows what she wants, only to be shot down by mommy dearest. Her mother tells her she can't have that, and she can have this instead, then asks her daughter "do you want that or not" like its an actual choice she CAN make even though it has already been decided for her. The little girl stars throwing a fit and doesn't say anything. Then out of no where, the mother looks at her and says "you'd better decide what you want, the server won't be back for 3 more hours". Xcuse me?

Listen bitch, I have been patiently waiting for you and your family to decide on drinks (waters all around please), and then decide what you all want to eat, all the while making 3 other tables wait on you and your sorry asses! Then you tell your daughter I may not come back for 3 hours. Try the rest of your stay with us! I get the order from unlucky 21, feed them, take my other tables orders, and get caught up. When its time to drop off the bill, joan crawford hands me a credit card and asks me to ring her up (more like wring her neck). As I am walking away to run the card, she stops me and says "ooh wait can I see the total first?" Before I can even hand her the bill, she rips it out of my hands to look at it like a rhino charging its prey. I pray I never see them again for a good 6 months!

Then that same evening (how lucky can I get), I take a table of 3. Two redneck cowboys (my favorite) and a cowgirl (their whore). I take their order and get their drinks. The One asshole cowboy, orders a large milk, then asks for 2 count them 2 refills of milk, which I of course charge him for. I drop off the bill, and as I am taking an order at the table in front of them, I hear redneck (I like men sexually but will deny it, due to the fact people will think I am a homo) say I overcharged him for milk to his trailer trash hook up girlfriend. You wanted 3 glasses of milk. Its not my fault you drank all 3 glasses and then had to pay for all 3. Next time, due the math. I know you don't know HOW to due basic math, but when you ask for something more than once, and there is a charge for it each time you keep getting it, you have to pay for it each and every time.

That would be like going to a bar and ordering 3 drinks, and asking only to pay for 1 of the 3. Listen dumb ass, next time go to McDonald's where they're used to dumb asses like yourself. You can even get refills on your beverage for free, EXCEPT MILK!

Until next week, I am over and out!