Everything tastes betta with butta (you go Paula, Deen that is)!

So, as most of you (still all 5. What a fan base!) know, I am in rehearsel for the foreigner and I have to speak with a georgian accent. I figured I'd watch Paula Deen on the food network, to get a feel for my accent. I don't have any words in my dialouge that are "butter" or "ya' all". Maybe I could add them. Hmmm. I think I have it down, but just to be safe, I have decided to purchase a c.d. on georgian accents (is there such a thing)?

Yesterday was lunch monday (or monday lunch). We had a great time discussing some of my creepy hook ups from previous years (wash your hands). I can't believe I was never killed and left for dead, after meeting some of these nut jobs. Remember kids, play safe and carry mace! On this, being new music tuesday I didn't see anything I had to have, and couldn't live without. Motley Crew? Next! A new Jessica Simpson single (which is a country song), next! How to be like Oprah in 2 weeks. Hmmm....

Get smart was the #1 movie over the weekend, beating out The Love Guru. I told you, NEVER have JT in your movies. He will jinx it and the movie will tank EVERY time! Now I have 2 see get smart and Kung Foo Panda. And of course, Batman! Boy george has been banned from returning to the U.S. due to his criminal past and impending trial. And I thought it was because they didn't want that old queen to star in another crappy musical (come on, who saw that production, that rosie o produced, what was it called? SEE I TOLD YOU! IT WAS SO BAD, EVEN I CAN'T REMEMBER THE MUSICAL~ I smell a tony (is that what that smell was)?

That's all I have for this edition. I'll be back on Kathy G thursday! And I hope 2 have LoLa's photos uploaded also! Ciao~

2 weeks has come and gone. Where have I been? Obviously NOT on here!

Its been 2 weeks, since my last blog post. Of course, for those of you who watch Miss Kathy, you know my life on the D list started last thursday evening, followed by the A list awards. Loved D list, not so much on the A list awards. Sure, I love kathy, and I enjoyed her as the host, but the celebrity's who were there, and the award catergories (best rear of the year), just wasn't working for me. I did however purchase Kathy's new comedy c.d. for your consideration. Love it! I highly recommend everyone go and purchase it (or I can burn you a copy, your choice). I am also excited to have seen that project runway season 5, starts in July on bravo! This will be the last season for runway on the bravo! channel, then it moves to its new home-Lifetime. I am NOT going to watch another rerun of the hit movie "Mother, may I sleep with danger" starring the ever so talented Tori spelling, either before or after a runway episode on lifetime. Or meredith baxter (over 100 LT movies), or Tracey Gold (50 LT movies).

I will post photos of my LoLa on here shortly. :-) Happy Pride weekend Y'all!!

Hello again! Where the hell have you been?

Well, Well, Well. If it isn't our sarcastic blogger back from god knows where (do we REALLY want to know)? That's right folks, I took a hiatus, just not as long as the former writers strike in hollywood (now that would be awful)! Where have I been? Where did I go? Only myself and LoLa (the new pup), know the answers to those questions. But, as you can see Im back! And speaking of back, my kathy is back this thursday with her awards show, and all new episodes of my life on the D list. She also has a new comedy c.d. (which I of course plan on downloading on i-tunes). I thought I'd make my triumphant return the same week as Kathy. How'd I do? O.K. it maybe isn't the same as Kathy, but at least the effort was there! Kathy will also be on larry king tonight, which I'll be taping! Obama cliched the nomination on tuesday, and yesterday, he and Hilary were in a secret meeting yesterday (some secret, we all knew. Pick a better meeting place, like the old tree house from the little rascals-O-TAY)!

Then I read a study was conducted that flip flop sandals can cause foot damage. NO! Say it isn't so. Of course they will. Look at them. There thinner that kate moss on a good day (which is hardly never). Try wearing those on an 8-9 hour waiting shift. That's all I have for this blog. I need to go, and set my dvr to record larry king live tonight. Peace out! (It sounded good when I said it out loud in my mind, before I typed it).

Mr. Diamond knocks off Madge for the #1 album of the week (who knew Neil was SO rough)!

That's right people, Neil Diamond has the #1 album this week, with his new release. Of course, he sold less copies of this new album for the week, than madonna, who sold 3x the amount last week alone (poor neil). Madonna falls a whopping 66% of her albums sales to #3. At least she's in the top 5 still. Hope to see a tour from the blond ambition herself soon. Moving on.....

Ellen Degeneres yesterday on her daytime talk show, told the audience that she plans to marry her girlfriend. Aaww. I can just see it now. All the lesbians wearing carpenter pants with tools in the ring loops. As long as there's cake, I'll go (I just blew my chances, with that lesbian comment. Damn me for being such a smart ass)! I am happy for Ellen, but as everyone (mostly gay people) know, lesbian marriage lasts about as long as drying your clothes at the laundromat (20 minutes). I hope she'll stay in the game, fight the good fight.....ooh, who am I kidding. Keep the gifts, and recycle those for future weddings you attend for others (a toaster, you shouldn't have. And only YOU know, you didan't)!

With only 2 weeks away for the BIG premier of sex and the city, I was a bit surprised when I saw photos of the movie premier in hollywood. Sarah Jessica parker, looked gorgeous as ever, until I saw what she was wearing on her head. She called it a hat, I called it a plant. I tried to e-mail myself the photo to my blogger, so I could post it, for those who haven't seen it yet. Trust me, just go to OMG.com, and view it for yourselves. It was awful! Even Carrie Bradshaw (sarah's character name on SATC), wouldn't wear such a hideous thing! Then Cynthia Nixon, wears a low (and I mean low) cut dress on top, and barely has enough fabric to cover those boobies of hers! Kim Catrell looked stunning, as did the other one, I'm drawing a blank. A couple of fashion don'ts aren't going to stop this SATC fan from going to the movie!

I went and saw "what happens in vegas" on wednesday night. It was hilarious! I wish I could've seen more of Ashton Kutcher's behind without boxer briefs, but that will have to do. D housewives 2 hour season finale this sunday night! Did anyone (all 5 of you, besides mike and I), see the scene when lynette slaps kayla at the clothing store, for being such a snotty, bratty, little bitch! Then she calls her shrink, and lies to him and says that lynette is abusive to her. Girl, you deserve it! Your like a re-incarnated version of Damien from the omen. I think your both related (yeah, like creepy I'm possessed stand back or I'll kill you with one look, kinda that creepy)! I wish she would just be committed to a ward, like every other serial killer.

Last and certainly not least (thank you god), I was watching top chef on bravo this week. The winner of the elimination challenge won a bottle of $9.00 wine. Wow! All that love and sweat, and you get a $9.00 bottle of wine. Why not just add insult to injury, and give the winner a gift card to a goodwill thrift store (bravo, now go and buy yourself a new outfit someone else has worn, but may be deceased. Enjoy)! Have a great weekend all. I'll be back on tuesday with a weekend wrap up. Love to Kathy, and hope to catch you in Minneapolis on Oct.3rd! Remember kids, that would make a great birthday gift (for me, of course)!

Hard Candy is #1 in the land. All hail to the queen!

I am so happy for Madonna. She dethroned that marrying a younger man diva Mariah Carey, out of the #1 album spot. How does it feel to be second MC? Of course, Mariah is on the cover of People magazine this coming week, with photos of her new much younger (can I see some I.D.) husband, Nick Cannon. Thanks to buckycatt for letting me know! I do wanna see the wedding photos, just to see how awful, I mean awfully gorgeous MC looked that day (I think her chest gets all the attention). madonna has released her second and third singles off hard candy already. talk about ambitious. The second single "give it 2 me", has already reached into the top 40. The third single "beat goes on", featuring Kanye West debuted at 100. I also heard, she is possibly planning a tour after all. I would love to see her, yet again If she does do a tour. She is awesome to see in concert, and anyone who would like to buy me a ticket for my upcoming birthday, feel free to do so! No really, I don't mind!

I, being the American Idol fanatic (not), forgot to tape the elimination episode on wednesday night. So, I went on line yesterday to see who had been kicked off. The finale is 2 weeks away, and I haven't even watched ANY of the season. Luckily, I have them on dvd, so I can catch up this summer during the Olympics. Miss Kathy's new season of D-list, starts on June 12th. I went to her website this morning, for the first time since not winning tickets to mohegan sun. She has a countdown clock on there that shows days, hours, and minutes until the new season will begin. She also has the remainder of this year booked with concert dates. The closest city she'll be to Montana, will be Minneapolis. I think I feel a trip coming on! Hope she'll have another contest to win tickets before then.

On yahoo this morning, they listed the top 5 mother's day gifts NOT to give mom. Let's go over them shall we! 1. Appliances (I agree). 2. Lotion (Hmm, tough call. If mom has dry skin, it would help. But on the other hand, it could apply to her that she has bad hygene). 3. Little house on the praire inspired pajamas (o.k. now that is just way to much. Even Laura would agree). 4. Vacuum cleaners (again, suggesting to dear mom, that she doesn't clean enough, or not good enough). 5. A cold (nyquil If she already has a cold. Otherwise, wash your hands for mom, or she'll wash them for you)! Get her a gift card to get a tattoe like every trailer trash family does (fer me, this is better than my carton of cigarettes from last year. I was hoping fer a new skirt on the house, but I suppose I can wait til my berthday). Get your mother an awesome gift! She gave you all life people!

Finally, not too many new movies opening this weekend. Speed racer, and What happens in Vegas. Either one, I wish to see. Now next friday, narnia opens, and I do wanna see that! Britney is making her second appearance this monday night, on the cbs show "how I met your mother", which I'm taping! She'd better be just as good this time. Happy Mother's day all! I will see you next week! Love to my girl Kathy! I'm out! (We know! The whole world knows your GAY! Move along, nothing 2 C here)!

Happy Cinco De Mayo! ( What about holding the Mayo)?

Happy Cinco everyone! Now go out, and have a couple margurita's, some chips and salsa, and pass out in alley somewhere (aahh, good times)! Where did the weekend go? Not a lot of news worthy material happened. Well, o.k. there was this insane story, that Mariah Carey married youngster Nick Cannon. She's 38! he's 10! I mean really people. Just kidding about Nick being 10. He's actually 17. But still. The fact she married someone so young, that he could be her son! I can just imagine what nick was thinking during his pre teen years. "One day, I'm going marry Miss Mariah. And she'll be as old as my mom. Can she make me a PB and J sandwich with hardly anything on? You know she will! I will be the happiest kid alive")! Then he jerks off with PB and everything becomes sticky! Good luck with THAT Mariah! The other day, Mike and I were going to lunch, and we were walking towards the restaurant, which is next to a sally beauty supply store. I look at the poster in the window, and what do I see to my surprise? Paris Hilton hair extensions! OMG! What the? Your kidding me, right? Who the hell would wanna buy hair extensions, named after Paris? No, that Isn't hott! Give me a break! This whole sentence sure had a lot of exclamations!

D housewives last night was so good! OMG! I can't believe the season is almost over (bad writers)! Gaby and Carlos have a new roommate played by child star, Justine Bateman. Is it just me, or does she look more man like, now that she's gotten older? I kept looking at her, and she REALLY does look like a male! Maybe a she male? Who knows. Anyway, last night's episode was very good. Tom's daughter, has this "Im a serial killer" character going on with her, and Its very good, yet creepy! Someone grab some garlic, a rosary, and a wooden cross, and let's chase her to the top of wisteria lane! Bamm! Glad that's over!

Iron Man was # 1 over the weekend raking in $100 million. Now Robert Downey has more money to pay for more rehab! This will be the first huge movie he's had since.......well, since I can remember! What were some of his "hit" movies? I am drawing a blank. Oh well. I am curious to see, whether Madonna knocked off Mariah tomorrow, for the #1 album of last week. go madge! I have listened to her c.d. every day, since last tuesday. Some songs are more better than others. But I will always love Madonna, no matter what! Besides Kathy, she's been my idol for like ever! I sound like a young school girl. Like totally!

That's all I have for this edition. I will be back on Kathy griffin thursday. I am going to go to her website, and see what's happening. I haven't checked it out, since I lost the contest! My you tube entry is still on also. have a good one! Make it a stiff one! :-)

A day late, and A $1000.00 short. Can someone spare some?

Alright, someone bitch slap me (ouch, it was a joke), I promised a new blog by yesterday and of course, it never happened. And on Kathy Griffin thursday no less. Well anyway, here it is friday. After reading the blog comment from exit 333 (holla), about the new madonna c.d. "hard Candy", I got to thinking about what Mr. exit had said, that being her new c.d. isn't as good as some of her previous material. Then yesterday Morning, and pretty much off and on all day yesterday, I found myself listening to certain songs playing in my mind, but out loud. Then I knew that this new c.d. was going to be just fine. Give it a chance exit, I think you'll like it. It's quite a change, sound wise for Madonna, but it is her last c.d. with time warner. Can't wait for her new projects with her new record label. Maybe she could be less old school trampy Madonna on her upcoming c.d. Who am I kidding!

On dancing with the stars (which I never watch), Shannon Elizabeth was voted off, along with her dancing partner she fell in love with in real life while on the show. Hope you both are happy with each other, until another reality show breaks you both up. Aahh, isn't non relationship (I just wanna sleep with you for a while until the next great thing happens in my life) wonderful!
And speaking of sleeping around, what's with Barbara Walters admitting like over 30 years later, that she had an affair with a senator back in the day. Who cares! No offense babra, But it isn't the same excitement as a male senator with his pants down to his ankles in a airport bathroom stall, getting serviced by another male (hope he used one of those paper seat covers). The thought of Barbara having ANYTHING sexual then or now, is making me sick (pepto)? I like her, but don't wanna see her in that type of interview ("now, would you please take off your pants. How did that make you feel")? Gay Eeww! I need an eraser.

Then there's the big story of the week, that being Paula Abdul commenting on two performances by an Idol contestant, but the contestant only had sang his first song! Wake up Paula! I know your in there (somewhere). I thought it was rather funny. Then she goes on Ryan Seacrest's morning radio show, to defend her actions, by saying she had her notes mixed up from the rehearsel which she had watched earlier that day. Now there is a big stink that Idol plays favoritism by the judges, because they can watch either a live rehearsel or a taped one, 2 hours before the actual performance is aired to all of us. I would have to agree with that. The judges should wait to see the actual performance, just like all of us! What is this world coming to (not a lot right now). There is only 3 more weeks of this Idol season left, then we can move on to the summer olympics, which is a whole other ball game of judging (thank god, Paula isn't an olympic judge).

Chicago the musical was good the other evening. We had seats with no back support (the old school bleachers), so we moved to seats with backs. I would rather see a show like that in New York on broadway. But for what it was worth, it wasn't half bad (just the first half was, only because the first half is always the longest). I didn't see Catherine Zeta, or Renee Z. but they must've had the night off. That's all I have for this edition. I'll be back next week with more observations! Still love ya Kathy!

Hard Candy drops in our laps-Yummy!

This morning, I woke up (thank god. I'm NOT dead), and I almost forgot that today was the new release day for the new Madonna c.d. (bad gay). I logged on to i-tunes, and I listened to all the tracks first, just to see whether or not, I actually wanted to purchase the c.d. (yeah, like I wouldn't). Then I realized that I had a gift card from my friend buckycatt, so I redeemed my gift card for madonna (now that's a true fan). I , of course love the c.d. and will burn miss buckycatt a copy, I'f she chooses to want a copy. I went with the deluxe c.d. which has the digital booklet, and 2 remixes of the song 4 minutes. And of course, you don't get the lyrics to any of the songs, which means I can either figure out what I think Madonna is saying (flies in a bad feather hat), or go to a lyrics website, and read the actual words. Either way, the c.d. so far has satisfied this sometimes skeptic gay man.

The drag n hoot on saturday evening, was once again, a HUGE success (did you have any doubt). My corset, on the other hand, was cinched so tight, I got welts on my back from the damn thing (beauty is painful, but how painful does it have to be)? I was happy with my song choices, and I loved the crowd, minus a miss Della. What a frickin' BITCH! You don't sit there, and get upset when the emcee (myself), makes fun of your hideous hat. Get over it! And then to attack me in the beanery restaurant, the next morning as I'm leaving and to tell me that I wasn't a very good emcee in her eyes. Get your eyes checked you under sighted cow! As far as I'm concerned, YOU are banned from further drag n hoot shows. How's that for being what you described as "not in character or attitude enough"! *snap* You wanted a bitchy queen with attitude, well she just got her last and only wish. Go teach some dance lessons to students who will never know the joy of dance, due to your stupidness. Moving on......

I also have decided, for future shows, that we need performers who have ACTUALLY performed before, and who have not just decided on a whim, that they would like to try performing. NO! You want to try it for the first time, try kareoke. And for the love of god (love you), I'f you can't sing, then don't. This isn't a competition like Idol, and I'f it were, you wouldn't make it to hollywood, trust me!

Over the weekend, Baby Mama was #1 at the box office. Then I read on line today, that Amy Poehler is actually pregnant, and expecting her first child. Talk about a real life role. Go Amy! I watched D housewives on sunday. OMG what a great episode. The fact that Orson admitted to running over Mike, and then Bree kicking him to the curb. Ouch! This week's episode looks great too. To bad the season is almost over. Ooh well, at least we have the Olympics to keep us company (swim that lap)!

That's all I have for today. I'll be back on thursday with my review of Chicago, which Mike and I are going to see tonight, as part of broadway in bozeman. Hope you all have a great day! Still love ya Kathy!

And the winner isn't....ME!

O.K. for those of you who read my blog (all 5), you probably know by now, that I DIDN'T win the Miss Kathy contest. :-( I look at it as a defeat, and also as an opportunity to try again, when she has another give away. As you all know, I am not giving up on the dream to one day meet my idol in person (whether in court or otherwise). I am proud of what I had done, and I have had 240 hits as of today on you tube. Not bad! I'f Kathy ever does read my blogger page in silence, I want to say thank you and that I appreciate you for being my inspiration (ooh dear, someone hand me a tissue). And I apologize to those of you (all 5), who actually read my blog, for not writing on here in over a week. I had to have a grieving period about the loss of not winning. Now I'm over it, and Im ready to dive into some celebrity talk.

I read that Marlee Matlin was the next contestant to go from dancing. Like I've said in previous blogs, I never watch the show. Maybe next season I will start (yeah, right). On a non celebrity front, I got a new puppy! Her name is LoLa, and she's 9 weeks old. She is a springer spaniel, and she's a cutie. I will post a picture on here of her for you all to drool over. You can even use it as a screen saver for your laptops I'f you'd like! Now I have 2 dogs. Man, I love motherhood (and no painful delivery of either dog). We went and saw the Al Pacino movie 88 minutes last night. I wish I could get back those 88 minutes I lost, by going to this movie. It was awful. Good popcorn though. D housewives was good on sunday. Ugly betty returns on thursday. Life in t.v. land is good (for another 4 weeks). I was watching t.v. the other night, and I saw another commercial from Geico, only this time the celebrity endorser was of all people Misses butterworth. XCUSE ME! You have a maple syrup as your spokes person? It was so stupid! Then at the end of the commercial, they put up the Geico lettering, and Misses B says "ooh dear, someone has put a logo, right over my face". Thank god the ending was at least good. I wish the actual geico customer had knocked Misses B off the couch she was sitting on, or poured her entire body of work, so to speak on a huge pancake. That'll keep her quiet! (Could someone pass the butter)?

With less than a week to go, for the new madge c.d. to be released, I wonder how it'll fair on the billboard charts the following week? Ashlee Simpson has a new c.d. out (use it as a coaster for drinks). Drag N Hoot is this saturday evening. I have my boots, which I've been rehearsing in, and my corset just came yesterday, and fits (thank goodness). I'm so excited about the show. It'll be here before I know it! That's all I have for this blog. I'll be back on friday with pics of LoLa, and my new haircut, which I get tomorrow morning. have a great couple days, and remember Kathy I still like you! (I shoulda won)!

And the winner is?

NO WORD YET ON KATHY'S CONTEST!! I AM GETTING TO ANXIOUS TO FIND OUT. 203 HITS ON YOU TUBE AS OF THIS BLOG ENTRY.

And the winner going to Mohegan Sun to see Kathy is?

O.K. as all of you (5) know, I entered the Miss Kathy contest almost 2 weeks ago. The deadline for entries was this past thursday, April 10th. It is now Monday, April 14th, and still no sign of who the winner's are. I have had 186 hits on you tube, since I posted my blog 10 days ago. Not bad. My video entry, is also on Kathy's forum site right when you click on it. I know I won, or at least I think I have. This wait is killing me! This is just as bad as waiting to read or hear about an audition for the firehouse 5 in livingston (even hollywood rejects or accepts you quicker). Whether I win or not, I at least tried, and I won't give up on my quest to meet Miss Kathy in person one day. I'f she were smart, she'd meet me now and get it over with (wouldn't you)

Sorry it has been so long, since I wrote on my blog. This Kathy contest has been my new obsession (but not in a stalky way, too expensive to fly to L.A. to hide behind a shrub. That just isn't me). Britney was yet again in another fender bender this past weekend. Well, at least her accidents aren't as frequent as they used to be, and are spread further apart (sorta like her legs. Closed for cleaning, come back when more stable). I was able to watch D. Housewives last night (hooray), but forgot to record the episode longer and it was cut off. Now I have to watch the episode on abc.com, and put up with those annoying ads. At least I can skip to the end of the episode. Dirt had its season finale last night also. Haven't watched it yet, but when the season only had 6 episodes, it shouldn't take too long. Oprah is going to be a guest star on 30 rock, playing Tina Fey's best friend. Hmm. I wonder I'f Oprah will be a true best friend, and bring the entire cast new cars, or just crappy gift basket's filled with cookies and muffins?

That's all I have for this edition. I will be back on wednesday, and hopefully with some news either way about the Kathy contest. Until then, have a great couple of days, that are starting your work weeks. Don't forget your lunches, and come straight home afterwards!

Only 2 more days to go, and the winner is........

O.K. Unless you've been living under a rock (hey, some people like to be close to mother earth. I'm thirsty. May have a glass of water?), then you all (5) know by now that my contest video to win Kathy tickets is up and running on you tube. Since last friday, when I made my debut, I have had 87 hits as of this morning. I'm trying to break 100 before thursday. The contest itself ends on thursday, so I'm not too sure when Kathy will call, e-mail, or post on her website who the winner's are. I, of course am confident that I will win, but on the off chance I don't I will let you know either way. Now onto celebrity news. I'm sure you've heard by now that Beyonce and long time love muffin Jay-z tied the knot last weekend. Like we all didn't see that coming. I am happy for both of them. You know, she's going to get in the "I'm pregnant" line here shortly. I can't see Beyonce pregnant in high platforms, tripping on her face while performing. She'd better switch to sketcher tennis shoes just to be safe (she is fierce)!

I have decided to take my friend Brian's advice, and space out my paragraphs on here, so as not to have one huge blog sentence. He had brought up a great point, being that when you read my blog in the past, you would lose your place while reading the blog, due to sentence runnage. Heck, even I had the same problem when I would proof read my blog. But look at it now. Thanks brian! I'll buy you yet again, another my little pony. I just read on line as of last evening, that project runway is moving to a new network in the fall, that network being lifetime. Heidi and Tim will still be our mentor's, but the current judges haven't been renewed to come back, as of yet. Hmm. I wonder what courtney love is doing these days?

That's all I have for this blog. I know it's a short one, but I'm so darn excited about this Kathy Griffin contest! It's going to kill me to wait until the winner's are announced. Keep your fingers crossed! I'll be back on friday with a week wrap up, and hopefully some news about the contest. Have a great day y'all!

My Kathy Griffin contest video is FINALLY done and on you tube!

Hello one and all.  I wanted to write a quick blog on here,  and give you the link to my you tube video,  for Kathy Griffin's Mohegan Sun contest.  

FINALLY! Something to talk about. (Thank you Bonnie Ratt)!

Since I was last on here ( friday,  but who's counting),  I had been waiting for a miracle of miracles blog wise,  to write about.  It's amazing what can happen when you give hollywood a couple days,  to give us (me) a chance to catch up.  Now they have!  There wasn't really any one story,  that stuck out in my mind.  But you be the judge (don't worry judy,  your day job's safe with me!  Order).  The # 1 movie over the weekend was 21.  I plan on seeing it either tomorrow night,  or friday night.  I like Kevin Spacey (yummy)!  Ever since I saw him in American Beauty,  all sweaty with his ripped muscles....you get the idea (I would hope so).  Then I read on line that Brad and Angelina,  had gotten married over the weekend.  But then I found out it was false.  They're planning on getting hitched (don't go to the wedding Jennifer!  I'f you do,  recycle a gift from your marriage to brad.  Say that tacky cheese tray HIS mother gave both of you)!  US weekly magazine is already calling it the wedding of the century (I believe that was tomcat.  Nice try bradgelina)!   We shall see,  won't we!  Then I read that Kathy Lee Gifford,  is returning to daytime t.v. (and not as a guest on Dr. Phil.  Stay away from him girl)!  She's going to be on the today show's new extended hour to boost ratings.  I don't care what anyone has said about Kathy Lee in the past,  I like her.  I like her better than that snotty little blond bitch soap actress who thinks she's all that,  but isn't because she's dumb and annoying!  You go Kathy!  I won't be watching Kathy on the Today's last hour (Martha's on at the same time),  but I'm sure she'll be fine.  Madonna is in talks to star in the re make of the movie Casablanca.  Pardon me,  but after her movie swept away (which was thrown back out in the tide because it tanked),  you'd think she'd learn her lesson on the whole actress thing.  Wrong!  I love ya to death Madge,  but save the acting for someone like Dakota Fanning.  O.K. bad example!

On dancing with the stars last night,  Steve Guttenberg was kicked to the curb.  He is still very handsome,  I have to admit.  But you know what they say,  Once a loser ALWAYS a loser!  Try not to revive anymore of those police academy movies steve K!  Britney has hired back her former manager whom she fired,  and who got britney discovered and made her what she was BEFORE the coke using,  driving drunk,  showing va jay-jay,  neglecting her kids,  and eating PB and J sandwiches with chips on the sandwich.  God bless you sir!  Now get her career where it needs to be!  The only other story that caught my eye,  was some actor on CSI,  who is the highest paid actor on t.v.  I've watched the show in reruns before,  but not because of this tool who makes the big bucks.  I watched because I wanted to see the young hottie CSI agents take it off!  Then I realized,  I should've watched a bear porn instead (meow)!  I will be finishing my audition tape tomorrow for the Kathy Griffin contest (and on KG thursday.  Coincidence?  I think so)!  Until friday y'all,  I send you love and best dishes!  Damn,  I have that corny Paula Dean tag line stuck in my head on auto pilot!  Thx Paula!  Now go make me a turkey pie bitch!      

Dear God! First there ARE enough stories to chat about, then there AREN'T any. Quit teasing me like this!

O.K.  2 days ago,  I had a ton of celebrity and political news to talk about.  Now,  here it is 2 days later,  and it seems as though the news has come to a screeching halt-again!  What ever happened to those good old days,  when paris was driving trashed,  or nicole was only eating half a saltine cracker,  and running on the beach wearing a bikini top,  showing us her carcass rib bones?  I applaud them both for straightening out their lives,  but now what do I talk about?  There are a couple of stories I can write about,  so let's dive right in (put on your goggles and flippers).  I' am sure you heard by now,  that Robin Williams is getting a divorce from his wife of 19 years.  Holy cow!  19 years with Mr. funny pants.  That's a long time!  Maybe I'f he waxed his chest and entire body now and then!  I like me some chest hair,  but not enough to sleep with a gorilla!  Someone pass Robin the nair please!  I watched the finale to the celebrity apprentice last night.  It came down to Pierce from america's got talent (hardly),  and country singer Trace Adkins (hottie,  but lose the pony tail).  Pierce of course won.  They had all the former contestants at the live (although it had said recorded from an earlier broadcast,  therefore how could it be live) finale,  and sure enough omarosa was there (cat fight).  The Donald asked her what she thought of Pierce,  and she had the worst comeback answer even donald had ever heard.  She said "you should take about $250.00 of the charity money raised,  and buy pierce some quality time with a dentist.  He really should floss more".  Then Donald asked pierce what he thought of her answer,  and he said "I'm sorry,  who are you again'?  Way to go pierce!  Donald then said to omarosa "your comeback wasn't very good,  or even funny".  You got that right!  She needs some lessons in slam downs!  And she thinks she all that.  PA-LEEZ!  Girl your so yesterday,  your expiration date expired months ago,  and no one likes a stale chip!  *snap*!  Now that's a comeback-Bitch!  The only other big news (and its more of a tiny spec),  is that Jaime Lynn Spears is supposedly engaged.  WHO CARES!  Her parents are denying it.  again-WHO CARES!  BORING!  I'D RATHER READ THE PHONE BOOK!  O.K. maybe not.  Carrie Underwood,  is coming to bozeman in May,  on her carnie,  I mean carnival of pain,  death,  what ever tour.  Yeah,  I'll be wanting to go to that show.  I think I have to watch something on the t.v. that evening.  Sorry.  I'm booked.  Anyway,  that's all I have for this edition.  I'll be back on tuesday with hopefully some great stuff to talk about.  Celebrity's,  you have 3 days to cause mayhem and disaster before my next blog.  Ready-Set-GO!  Make it good.

OMG! We have ALOT to talk about! (Finally)!

After my blog on monday,  and me saying that there was nothing really to talk about,  It seems as though the gods up above granted my wish,  and gave me plenty to talk about (thanks guys,  I owe you $1.00.  Maybe $100).  First things first.  Yet another mayor is caught with his pants down!  The mayor of Detroit is now busted for having a sexual thang with a former aide on his staff.  They both deny the charges (duh).  That's 2 mayor's in less than a month.  Who's next?  The mayor of whoville?  Don't trust him horton!  So yesterday,  I was on i-tunes (as usual) to check out the new B-52's c.d. when I clicked onto the dance music icon,  and low and behold who do I see has released her first single "4 minutes"  from her upcoming album which hits stores on April 29,  and has named this new c.d. "hard candy"-MADONNA!  (That was the longest build up I have ever typed out.  My fingers are bleeding)!  Yes,  I downloaded her new single (shock).  It features Justin T. and Timbaland.  It's really good (and I'm not just saying that because I am a huge Madonna fan....O.K.  I' AM)!  The B-52's new c.d. is good also.  I haven't downloaded it yet,  but you know I will.  Now I just need to see the music video for 4 minutes,  and I can die a happy man ( I'f I WAS dying.  And that wouldn't be my last wish anyway.  I'd wish for 1 night with Hugh Jackman.  Woof!  Night night)!  In other celebrity news.  Demi Moore was on letterman monday night,  and she gave away her secret to staying so young and vibrant.  She told Dave,  that she has medically trained leeches chew away at her skin,  which releases some chemical in the blood stream (yummy.  tastes like older lady,  trying to recapture her youth.  Could you pass the katsup)?  Umm,  excuse me?  Medically trained leeches.  Where did they study?  Harvard?  Yale?  A local community college?  I can only imagine what their dorm room looked like while in school.  Now we know why Bruce left her ass!  I don't watch dancing with the stars,  but I do like to read who has been kicked to the curb each week.  This week 2 contestants went home with there dancing shoes (or lack of).  Monica Seles and  Penn the magician.  C YA!   Also Ellen Degeneres was named favorite talk show host,  beating out Oprah (see,  she isn't all that),  and larry King is the least favorite (must be the snappy suspenders he wears),  in a recent poll.  Then on the front page of my newspaper this morning,  I see an article that a celebrity house is divided (no,  not j-lo and Marc Anthony).  Angelina Jolie is a Hilary Clinton supporter,  while Mr.  Pitt is a huge Obama supporter.  It's division like this,  that can cause a marriage to crumble and collapse.  O.K.  do we really need this as a front page story?  It couldn't be ooh I don't know ON THE LAST PAGE IN THE PAPER THAT NOBODY READS EXPECT THE WEATHER!  Who cares what those 2 freak- a -zoids are doing,  or who they like and don't like.  Take your chimp lips and your fake ass hair color (angelina then brad slam down not both brad) and go back to the jungle and eat bananas and live in a mud hut you both made out of twigs!  Ba-bye!!  I also read in the same article (literally,  just now),  that Hilary Clinton is a distant cousin on her mother's side to Madonna,  Saline Dion,  and Alanis Morissette.  That's one long distant cousin you don't want over for the holidays.  All drunk off her ass,  talking about bill and how he has a small dick.  Cut her off!  Moving on.......

I'm glad to see some of the shows that were on hiatus returning.  I watched the Britney episode of how I met your mother.  She was actually pretty funny!  Go Brit!  And two and a half men was also a knee slapper (god,  I sound like I'm 80 or something).  Can't wait for the ABC line up to return (where are you housewives)?  I will be shooting my you tube video on friday,  and hope to have it up by the weekend.  With the Kathy Griffin contest ending in 2 weeks,  I need to get my butt in gear,  and just do it!  That's all I have for this edition.  I'll be back on friday with a wrap up before the weekend starts.  have a great one (a great BIG one that is).  I need 2 get some!        

Monday, Monday.

We'll,  yet another weekend has come and gone.  Hope everyone had a good bunny holiday (easter for those who thought I was referring to something else,  like national hopping day.  Don't ask)!  I of course,  worked a 13 hour day,  but am I complaining?  Am I bitter?  O.K. kinda.  Actually,  it wasn't that bad.  One of my employees came back with a plate full of food for me to devour ( you animal).  Then I came home to homemade strawberry shortcake.  Yummy!   On thursday night,  we went and saw horton hears a who.  I actually liked it.  It was really funny.  I wouldn't buy it on dvd when it comes out,  but ya never know (in other words,  I will be).  They showed the preview to the new speed racer movie,  which comes out in may.  I was never a huge speed racer fan,  in fact,  I have never watched even one episode.  I don't get where the little boy with the beenie, and the monkey fit into speed's life.  I kinda find them annoying.  Pick better friends,  and friends who are human and around your own age range speedy (yeah,  my best friend in the whole world is only 6 months old.  BFF).  Christina Ricci plays speeds love interest.  This lesbian better convince me that she can kiss a guy,  as well as kissing a woman,  or refund city I will go!  They also showed the a teaser preview to the next Ice Age movie,  which comes out in May 2009.  Little early,  don't ya think?  What's next?  Desperate Housewives the movie,  coming in 2012.  I like to plan ahead,  but that's a little too far ahead.  Hmm I better set my calender on my cell phone to remind me about the movie now.  On friday,  I went to billings to do some car shopping (more like looking at what I CAN'T afford).  Sales men are getting more aggressive these days.  One salesmen offered me a BJ,  and a twix candy car,  I'f I bought a car from him.  Sign me up!  We went to one dealership,  and as we were leaving the lot waiting to turn onto the street,  a salesmen came running out of the building waving towards us to stop.  GUN IT!  Do they honestly think we'll buy a car from them,  when they're coming towards us like a mad man?  That's one of those moments that I wish I had some silly string,  and I could've shot them with it and yelled afterward "your soo silly!"  after the whip lashing from all the dealerships,  we went to do some affordable shopping.  Lunch was at Red Robin,  and dinner was at Olive Garden.  Saturday evening,  we went to see the music man at the firehouse 5.  I liked it!  I thought it was better than the movie.  Then again,  most theatre performances usually are better when seeing them on the stage,  than the movie versions (o.k. not all.  Who could forget JC superstar.  I rest my case your honor).  Backtracking to horton,  it was number 1 again this past weekend.  You go hortie!  Not much entertainment news to talk about from the weekend,  it was quiet.  Britney will be on how I met your mama,  not sure when the episode airs.  Maybe tonight?  Let me go check...(actually going to check the t.v. schedule).  YES,  its on tonight.  Of course I'm taping it!  Tomorrow is new music tuesday,  with panic at the disco and the B-52's new c.d. coming out.  I will let you know how they sound.  Also this week,  I'll be filming my Kathy griffin video for you tube.  Hope you all have a great monday,  and I will see you on wednesday!  

Would you like some HARD CANDY? It'll cost you!

O.K. before you jump to a conclusion that the title for this blog is a sexual inuendo,  think again (or think that it IS a sexual comment,  I know you want to).  Hard Candy,  is the title to Madonna's highly anticipated new album (oops I mean c.d.),  which hits stores on April 29th.  I went on to amazon yesterday,  to view future releases,  and there she was,  in all her glory (god save the queen of england,  I'f she sees the cover for madges new c d).  Madonna is blond,  yet again (she's had more hair colors than the former mayor of new york had escorts) and her hair is looking like it did in her express herself period.  I thought the point of getting older,  was to look forward,  not look back (who could forget madonna in that video,  crawling on the floor heading for a bowl of milk like a cat that has come in from the outside.  Stop it!  Bad video)!  She's surely not showing any signs of slowing herself or us down,  with her outfit on the cover of hard candy.  It shows her spread eagle (been there,  done that.  Like 10 years ago) sitting on a chair (thank god it was a chair),  and her wearing black knee high boots,  and a black stretchy outfit,  with a huge belt buckle in gold that says Hard Candy (why can't most cowboys wear a belt buckle like that?  I would love them EVEN more)!  Madonna is going to release 7 songs off the new album (c.d.) to customers who have some sorta phone service in England (bitch),  and charge .99 cents per song.  They can download the same song as many times as they want,  then the next day a new song will be available to download,  and so on.  You get the idea (but does madge)?  The first single is "4 minutes".  I haven't heard it yet,  but I want to (duh).  I will let you all know when I do.    Halle Berry has named her daughter (its about time)  Nahla Ariela.  Guess she couldn't go with something simple like pear or orange.  I had to write the name down,  just to type it out on this blog.  Imagine that little girl when she grows up.  She's better carry around a bic pen everywhere she goes (no,  not narnia!  Let me write it out for you).  J-lo is on the cover of people this week,  with her new babies emme and max.  Now those are pretty good names.  Easy to remember,  easy to pronounce.  Hmm,  maybe Halle should lay off the sauce,  when naming children (because some people weren't liking it *snap*).  Nicole Kidman is also pregnant.  All these celebrity women who are expecting.  Anything to get your name in the press.  Who's next?  I'm going to guess cindi Lauper?  Ya never know.  I plan on uploading my video entry to you tube this weekend for Kathy Griffin.  I will have a link on here for all (5) of you to click right on and watch it.  The mystery comment blog from my previous blog has been solved (and I didn't even need to call on the scoobey doo gang).  It was my friend exit 333.  I was hoping it would've been Kathy.    Maybe next time.  I am planning on going to see horton hears a who tonight.  I am not much of an animated movie kinda guy (o.k. I do like shrek and the simpson's and the smur...I mean transformers),  I will have my review on that,  as well as MC (mariah scarey's) performance on SNL from last weekend.  She said she wasn't happy with it (this outta be good),  and she's also going to be on American Idol 3 count them 3 times in april (can we still get courtney love)?  Once as a mentor (or how to be a money sucking leach),  once on Idol gives back (not again),  and finally,  to promote her new album.  Someone stab me with a toothpick in the eyes right now!  I think she should wear crocs and sweat pants as a mentor,  but that's just me.  Anyway,  that's all I have for this edition.  I'll be back on monday with a weekend wrap up.  happy Kathy Griffin thursday all!

Someone posted a comment on my blog, then took it back. Could it have been Kathy? We will never know!

 As I mentioned in the title,  someone (or something),  wrote a comment on my blog on sunday the 16th.  But then,  they decided not leave the comment posted.  Kathy?  Janet?  Mariah?  Who knows.  I hope it was Kat.  Can I call her that?  Anyway,  I haven't watched the SNL from this weekend yet.  Maybe I'm scared to see MC do her thing (or lack of).  I will watch it,  and of course have a full report as soon as I do!  Heather Mill's finally had her day in court.  She was awarded a HUGE settlement from Paul McCartney.  She was awarded 46.8 million dollars,  or $34,000.00 per day.  I will take that off her hands!  Like she needs THAT much money.  PA-LEEZ!  I need that much money (hell,  I'd settle for $5.00).  Also Halle Barry had her baby.  Congrats Halle!  OMG (ooh my god,  for those of you who aren't familiar with computer slang O.K.),  hold onto your seats!   Donny and Maria Osmond are hosting the miss USA pageant in Las Vegas.  And you can buy tickets to the show!  I think I'm going to be sick!  Donny and Maria hosting the miss USA pageant is the internet's idea for their big comeback?  Don't get me wrong,    It is a big deal  but I thought maybe they'd be at a ribbon cutting for a new Walmart.  Now that's HUGE!

I need to get ready for my lunch date for this week.  Kathy,  I'f you do read this,  PLEASE leave a comment.  Better yet,  pick me as a winner in your contest!  Until next time................................

BRITNEY INVASION!! (Run fer them thar hills)!

Happy Kathy Griffin thursday everyone!  I wasn't going to submit a video on you tube,  but now I am (what a surprise)!  I figured it would increase (or decrease) my chances of winning tickets to see Kathy in May.  I plan on uploading my video on monday morning.  I will let you all know when it is finished (and this may make me finished).  O.K. the big news of the day is that Britney is going to be making a guest appearance on the cbs show how I met your mother (sounds like the title to her father's autobiography).  I am not exactly sure,  what her role will be on the show,  but I plan on NOT watching it.  Britney also has a new single out from her album blackout called "break the ice".  The video is animated in japanese cartoon form.  I tried to go to her website to watch the video,  and you have to enter 2 secret words to be able to access the site.  I tried britney spears,  and no luck.  I tried black out,  and no luck.  Finally,  I tried coke hoar and bingo,  I was in.  Actually,  that didn't work either (you'd think it would've),  and so I finally gave up.  I can watch it when it comes on yahoo or you tube.  Besides,  I don't wanna  see the video THAT badly,  because knowing britney,  I'll have to join her fan club or sign up for a t-shirt on her site,  just to see the video.  Welcome back brit!  I never have watched the tween show the hills on mtv.  Now all of a sudden,  this Heidi chick is everywhere.  First the show,  then she decides to record an album (very badly I might ad.  I'd rather listen to amy whinehouse over dumb ass barbie girl)!  Now she's going to have her own clothing line.  I'f you wanna purchase anything from the collection,  you can go to the local thrift stores in a couple months (buy 1 get 2 free,  sweet deal)!  Janet Jackson,  was supposed to perform on saturday night live this sat. evening,  but she cancelled because she has the flu.  Maybe she's embarrASSed about her album (that would be my guess).  Now,  of all the people to replace miss jackson,  they get Mariah Carey.  I can just see the butterflies and unicorns now!  I will be curious to see how she does (and you all know I'm going to tell you)!  On American Idol last night,  David Hernandez (gay stripper boy who isn't gay,  just likes the attention and the feeling he gets when a gay man puts a dollar in his g string),  was voted off last night.  Maybe he should've given simon,  randy,  and ryan a lap dance (ooh yeah,  that's how daddy likes it)!

O.K. now onto yet another stupid commercial from our terrific t.v. channels!  I saw this ad on t.v. for this cervical cancer pill called "gardicill".  The commercial shows different mother and daughters talking about the fact,  that they went together to the doctor to get the pill to prevent cervical cancer.  I'm all for protection of cancer or any other illness,  but this commercial is soo far from the truth,  that being the bond between a mother and a daughter.  I don't know to many girls,  who like to even go out in public to the mall with their moms.  "Mom,  stop it,  your embarrASSing me"!  And to think they went to see the family doctor (more like were forced to go,  or no allowance) with dear old (or young) mom.  "Now that we've gone to the doctor together honey,  let's go get you your first piercing.  I was thinking maybe a tongue ring.  Sound sweet?  High five"!  Give me a break!  I think that most girls would rather go with a best friend or the school geek (carry my books to the doctor's office will ya), than go with mommy.

Sorry I'f I was rambling on about that,  but the commercial is so stupid.  Anyway,  that's all I have for KG thursday.  I'll be back on monday,  with a weekend wrap up,  including miss Carey's performance on SNL.  Until monday,  have a great weekend!    

I just watched Paula's music video. I think I'm gonna throw up!

Happy new work week everyone (how exciting).  We have a lot to cover today,  but then again don't we always!  I was reading a review on yahoo this morning,  about Paula Abdul's new music video for her new single,  which I can't remember the song title (that shows you how much the song impressed me)!  Randy Jackson,  her idol judge sidekick wrote the song for her (who knew the "dog" was so talented with words).  Yahoo had the video to watch,  and of course I watched!  What a waste of my three minutes (refund please)!  Don't get me wrong,  I love Paula and she has had some good songs in her day (who could forget promise me your not gay...I mean promise of a new day).  But she just doesn't make the cut for me (Paula,  your fired)!  Her music video shows her dancing with her dancers (in case she falls,  they can pick her up),  in the same dance moves she had back in the "coldhearted" video.  She had a lot of pelvic thrusting going on (I thought she was having a seizure.  Can we give paula her medication please)!  Her moves are so stale.  I've seen better moves at a senior citizen bingo night (B 12).  I love ya paula,  but stick with what you know.  Talking gibberish while drooling through the mouth,  and making crazy comments,  that make no sense and that will have you in a lawsuit.  THAT'S the paula we all love!  The rock and roll hall of fame had their inductee ceremony last night.  I didn't know Madonna was going to be inducted.  No one sent me the memo!  From what I read on line this morning,  she was introduced by Justin Timberlake (suck up boy).  She was all teary eyed at the honor (who wouldn't be?  Maybe Paula),  but they said all the other performer's who were inducted performed but her!  Now that's what I call a diva!  How dare she not perform anything from her long list of songs,  that got her to that point in her career (take that away from her!  I bet Paula would've performed)!  And to top that one step higher,  she didn't even thank her family!  None.  Not Guy,  Rocco,  Lourdes,  her own father!  Now that's just being a BITCH!  But I still love her (although the love meter has gone down a little,  after hearing that)!  Congrats Madonna!  And the next time you win an award,  TRY to thank somebody (a dry cleaner maybe).

10,000 B.C. was the #1 movie this past weekend.  I wanna see it,  but not that badly.  Well,  I'f there's a lot of shirtless cavemen running around with loin cloths,  then count me in!  Just like the music scene (now that's what I call music 27?  Let it go already),  there hasn't been any one movie I want to see.  I do plan on buying no country for old men,  which is out on dvd today.  Matt Damon,  and his wife are expecting what I assume is their first child,  since that's all the internet seems to be talking about (who cares)!  Britney's dad,  and her ex Kevin Federline were spotted playing golf together.  Their doing it for Britney!  Girl,  you'd better snap back into your old body soon,  and kick some ass!  What is your father doing with your ex hubbie?  Only the 2 of them really know (playing with balls,  but not the golfing kind)!  I have decided to NOT put a video on you tube for Kathy's contest.  I plan on entering once a day,  until the contest deadline.  I'f I win,  I win.  I know it sounds like I'm giving up,  but I'm not!  I WILL meet Kathy one day,  either in person or a court of law!  But It's going to happen,  believe me.  That's all I have for today.  I'll be back on Kathy Thursday!  Have a great day,  and stay away from the Paula video!

   

Runway is over and Christian is FIERCE!

Yet another season of project runway is over (sadness).  Christian won the season with a very unique line at fashion week.  Victoria Beckham (where was david?) was the finale guest judge.  She loved christian and his collection so much (I thought she was gonna have a big old org. the way she was going on about him and his line.  save some for david.  Actually,  I"LL save some for him!  Step off vickie)!  I liked Romi's line the best.  Jillian,  the other finalist had some good pieces.  One piece she had was a sweater shaped like a bathing suit (that's gonna itch after a swim),  and the sleeves were crocheted (I thought we learned our lesson after the oscars a few weeks ago).  Congratulations Christian!  You are fierce! *snap!*  They are accepting applications for season 5 of runway already.  I would audition,  but I can't draw,  I can't sew,  and I can't coordinate an outfit (Im perfect for the next season).  My exciting news (and I mean exciting) is I had gone on to kathy's website (you know,  to read the same articles that haven't been updated in months.  I love ya kathy,  but have someone update your website.  A pool boy,  a gardener,  hmm,  maybe jessica your assistant.  Anyway,  I went on yesterday because it was kathy thursday,  and low and behold,  I see that kathy has a new contest (hooray)!  She is giving away tickets to another show in connecticut on may 2.  She even wants people to up load audition videos on u tube.  Which I plan on doing!  I hope I win.  I will let you know when I have my video on  u tube.  It will be done next week.  Wish me luck!

Yesterday I read on line,  that Patrick Swayze had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  I like patrick (Vita Bo M),  and I hope he will pull through.  I also read on line that MTV is banning the new Gnarles Barkley video,  because it has some pulsing lights,  that can trigger a seizure in people who are epileptic.  I watched some of the video on MTV.com,  and I got a headache after only watching 20 seconds.  Justin Timberlake is in the video (more like trying to act.  Don't quit your day job.  Give up on the acting bug,  PLEASE)!  he's a Dic Clark type of host introducing Gnarles. Boring!  I stopped watching after that.  I did watch the new Mariah Carey video for her new single "touch my body".  (So many people have,  well,  except me).  Its actually pretty funny.  It shows this computer geek showing up to her home,  to fix her hard drive,  I mean computer.  She tells the kid,  that she has to be somewhere and so she leaves him to fix her computer.  Next thing you know,  he's daydreaming about him and her,  walking on the beach with a unicorn (first it was butterflies,  now unicorns.  Leave these poor animals alone Mariah.  They don't like you)!  It shows mariah feeding him food from the fridge,  the 2 of them chasing each other on her lawn,  mariah wearing a school girl outfit and high heels (I don't know ANY women who can run in heels on grass!  And the school girl outfit?  Can we say over it)!  O.K. maybe the video wasn't THAT great.  But the title for her new c.d. is E=MC2.  Einstein is rolling over in his grave even as we speak!  sounds like MIMI needs a new title.  How about MC=crap.  Much better!  That's all I have for this edition.  I'll be back on monday with a weekend wrap up.  Everyone get out there,  and enjoy the weather (break out those shorts)!

What a slow entertainment week! Someone hand me the remote

Yet another week has come and gone.  On saturday evening,  I went to see semi pro with Will Ferrell.  I was rather disappointed.  I thought it would've been funnier than it was,  but you can only do so many jokes with pancakes (no pun intended).  The movie had some funny moments,  but to me,  it just wasn't as good as blades of glory.  perhaps will should consider doing movies that don't involve anymore sports themes (so much for the water polo script)!  There just seems to be a lack of interesting entertainment stories.  Britney is in hiding,  or resting who knows.  Even the new music coming out,  seems to be lack luster.  I did read on line this morning,  that drew barrymore is donating 1 million of her own money to some charity.  Whoopie!  Like celebrity's never donate money to charity (come to think of it,  I don't think they do).  I love drew,  don't get me wrong,  but now all of a sudden she has 1 million dollars lying around to donate to a charity (did anyone see her last movie?  Exactly my point)!  She doesn't have that kind of money lying around to just throw at charity.  She should be her own charity!  Then I went on to read that Scarlett Johannsen is auctioning off (for charity) a chance to go with her to her next movie premier (which means once your inside,  she'll ditch you faster  than a large barrel of popcorn,  and you'll end up sitting in the far back of the theater by yourself,  next to Matt Leblanc from friends.  How you doin'?).  So far,  the highest bidder has bid over $1000.00.  Ooh yeah,  I almost forgot,  not only will you get to go to the movie premier with scarlett,  be ditched once inside,  but you'll also get to take home a personal hand written note from scarlett herself ("please get away from me,  your driving me crazy").  And all for a small donation of,  so far $1000.00.  Save your money,  and rent the movie for $1.00 at a red box like everyone else.  PA-LEEZ!  Now,  the one celebrity charity I would bid on is from Kristen Davis,  from Sex and The City.  Kristen is auctioning off a chance to go to the premier for 2 people (which means you can bring someone,  and someone you like will sit next to you),  access to the premier party afterwards (Sarah Jessica here I come),  and a pair of shoes.  I'm not sure whether the shoes you get are shoes that Kristen has worn that night (gross),  or whether the shoes are from her closet at home ("I never wear these crocs.  I shall donate these").  I would love to win that prize.  I'll start my opening bid at $50.00 (go big spender)!

Also on line this morning,  I read that Robert Irvine,  the chef on the food network who does the hit show Dinner Impossible,  has been fired from the network,  for falsifying his resume' and his credentials.  Apparently he had said he was a top chef to the royal family in england (lie),  and also to a few previous u.s. presidents (lie also).   I read his actual resume',  and I have to say,  I would've lied also.  he was a head cook,  at Denny's for awhile,  then moved on to Dunkin Donuts,  and then finally,  he was a head chef at Chuck E Cheese pizza.  Hmm.....

do you blame the guy for lying about where he worked before?  I still think he's hott,  and he can be my chef any day (wearing nothing but an apron!  Celery Robert?).  if anyone needs to be fired from the food network,  its that guy named GUY,  who does diners,  drive-ins,  and dives.  He is so annoying to me.  He just eats,  and eats,  and eats.  I know it's called the food network,  but come on guy,  save some actual food,  for some of the customers!

His laugh is annoying,  his "bleached" blond spiked hair looks ridiculous,  and he is a geek!  O.K. you caught me,  I have a crush on him too (shock!  None of us saw that coming.  O.K. we did).  That's all I have for today.  I'll be back on Kathy thursday.  And hopefully with some good news about Kathy coming to montana (good luck with that 1).  Until KG thursday,  peace out! 

Finally watched the Oscar's (thank god for ti-vo and the fast forward button)!

Well,  I FINALLY watched the ocscar's from sunday evening.  BORING!  What would have taken me almost 4 hours to watch in real time,  only took me less than 2 with my remote,  and a button called FF.  I thought Jon Stewart did an o.k. job.  I find him to be annoying at times.  Then again,  I find most people annoying (minus my 5 readers and Miss Kathy,  of course)!  I thought Ellen did a much better job last year (and I'm not just saying that,  because we're both gay.  Go Ellen)!  I loved it last year,  when she started to vacuum the front row during the show,  and she said she didn't know that responsibility came with the hosting duties,  a classic bit!  I thought most of the acceptance speeches were alright.  When the screenwriter for Juno won,  I hadn't realized she was once a former stripper.  Then she walked up to accept her trophy,  and I saw that hideous dress she was wearing (missed that one in my review on monday.  How could ANYONE miss it)?  I thought jennifer hudson's dress was flintstone like  (and talk about jennifer's big boobs in that thing!  Look out she's going to kill somebody with those)!   It's like they called each other up and planned on wearing their dresses from the wilma flintstone collection (which nobody will ever buy)!  I would've rather seen Miss Juno writer naked,  than wear than hideous piece of fabric!  O.K.  maybe not naked,  but it would be better than what she had on  (show us some moves honey)!  The other dress,  which I missed (and the eye doctor told me I had perfect vision.  REFUND!)  was jessica Alba's feather dress.  I liked the color,  and the way it flowed on her,  but those stupid feathers!  I was hoping a bird would've seen her dress,  and taken a BIG dump on it!  No such luck.  But to be honest,  the dress didn't really need the help of others to look like crap,  not even a little innocent bird!  And then to top it off during the telecast,  they show the people who we've lost during the year.  I was watching with great concentration,  because I always see someone who I liked as an actor/actress,  that had passed away,  and didn't know that they had.  Next thing I know,  they're showing about 4-5 AGENTS,  who had passed away.  Umm,  excuse me?  AGENTS?  PA-LEEZ!  Who are they going to honor for next year?  "Sal"  dry cleaner to George Clooney.  Or "Mickey"  butcher to Denzel washington.  "Betty" personal banker to Nicole Kidman.  I believe we should honor those who made a difference in hollywood,  but an agent?  What's this world coming to?  Moving on.......

In case you've been out of the loop ( and we've all been there),  then you've all heard that Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch is being foreclosed on,  and put up for auction in a month.  Poor Michael.  I wonder I'f little sister Janet,  will let him stay with her for awhile?  (Don't do it girl!  Show some restraint)!  We will have to see how that unravels.  I downloaded janet's new c.d. on tuesday.  I actually like it.  It's the old janet back with us again (its like she went to bad music making rehab).  She switched it up,  with some new producers for this album.  It sounds like her old school janet,  way back in the day (pass the lemon lime drink "slice" please).  Check it out.  You'll be glad you did!  (God,  I sound like one of those lame ass infommercials.  Yikes)!

I have a bone to pick with advertisers,  who use celebrity's to endorse their products on t.v.  I like most of the commercials that I have seen (and paid attention to) on t.v. Then the other day while working out (yes,  I work out some of the time),  I look up at the t.v. they had on at the gym  (one of 8 to be exact) and I see this commercial for tide detergent,  and of all the people tide could've used,  they use Kelly Ripa!  OMG! (ooh my god,  for those of you who aren't savvy with computer lingo.  OK)!  I can't stand her!  The commercial shows her at a dinner party (you know she just invited herself),  and someone else at dinner is talking with their fork,  which has food on it (I think you know where this is going).  The food plops off the fork,  onto the white (of course,  typical.  Like it would show up on a light blue or brown) tablecloth,  and everyone is in shock,  ceasing all conversation at the table to see this one "accident" happen.  (give me a break,  it's just a piece of food,  no one peed on the tablecloth.  O.K. like that would happen either).  All of a sudden,  Kelly (miss stain fighter.  I wonder I'f she'd disappear,  I'f we used Tide on her?  Let's try it shall we),  stands up from the table and says she'll take care of it.  So she pulls the entire table cloth off the table like houdini (who by the way is watching from beyond the grave thinking what a bitch!) and removes it without disturbing anything on top of the table.  She then washes it,  then puts it back the way she took it off the table (now Houdini is REALLY pissed off).  I never liked Kelly.  Now this commercial confirms it!  My god,  its bad enough that she's with regis every day,  (poor regis)  now we have to see her "magic" with tide.

Don't they make tide to go in a take with you stick form?  Use it regis!  I dare you! Ba-bye Kelly

Finally,  I read on line this morning that that Miley Cyrus (Hannah for those fans who know her as hannah),  was on the tonight show last night,  and she drank an entire bottle of squeeze ketchup.  That's what makes her #1 for a pop princess.  We need to pass the ketchup off to britney,  and see what happens (its a bloody mary in a bottle brit.  Try it.  Go on.  Good girl)!  That's all I have for now.  Kathy Griffin thursday was yesterday for those of you,  who actually remember.  I am still working on trying to get her to montana,  either bozeman or missoula.  I am going to call the booking agent on monday morning,  and let you all know how that went.  Hope you will all go and check out a movie this weekend.  I'm going to go see "semi pro" tomorrow night.  I would also like to see "penelope" with Christina Ricci.  Until monday.......... 

    

Oscar has left the building! (And no one ever noticed)

Well,  another year of the oscars has come and gone.  I wasn't able to watch the show live on sunday night,  due to me having to work and serve pancakes (maple syrup,  be right back),  but I have the show recorded which in my opinion is better,  then I can just watch who won what award and then fast forward I will go!  I was able to go online yesterday to see what everyone was wearing (some good,  others....not so much)!  Let's start with the WORST dressed,  shall we (and we will)!  First off,  Daniel Day Lewis looked very handsome in his black tux.  Until you pan down to his BROWN dress shoes!  Looks like Daniel still had some oil from the set of his movie in his eyes!  His wife was even worse.  She had 2 red bows on each shoulder,  then some lace in the middle,  and then the dress was just a mess after that point.  it looked like Cinderella's dress makers (the forest creatures and the blue birds) were all drunk when they spit this dress out!  Then poor Jennifer Hudson.  You'd think after last year's dress (who could forget),  that she'd learn her lesson this year-WRONG!   She looked like she raided both Wilma Flintstone and Pebbles closets!  Cameron Diaz looked beautiful,  until you look at the back of her pretty in pink dress,  and see not so pretty wrinkles!  Ever heard of an IRON!  ( Steam helps also)!  Then the best supporting actress winner from Michael Clayton,  and her gown (more like a bad comforter you don't want to use to sleep with).  Hideous!  It's like she got into a fight with an animal,  and in the struggle,  she lost a sleeve!  Ellen Page had the most boring dress of the evening!  At least the previous people mentioned TRIED to wear something that would propel them onto a list of some kind.  Ellen should've been on a hit list (slap in her face),  for what she wore.  It's like she raided her grandmother's closet,  and picked the one dress that wasn't form fitting at all.  Hell,  I'd rather had seen her in a prom dress with those overly puffy sleeves at the top.  I will watch the oscar show tonight,  and continue my rampage tomorrow...

Then I was reading on line this morning,  that Whoopie Goldberg was upset,  because she wasn't mentioned in a montage of previous oscar hosts on sunday evening.  And of course,  the women of the view,  were more than happy to cheer her up (later they all plan on going to a male strip show,  and drink lot's of tequila).  I didn't know that Whoopie had hosted the oscars 4 times,  and that she was the first woman to ever host the show.  I'd be upset too!  You go Whoopster!  The big winner of the evening award wise,  was No Country For Old Men.  I liked the movie.  Not sure I'f I would've chosen it for best picture,  but then again I'm not on the oscar board (I applied,  but the annual fees are way too expensive for this one right here).  Anyway,  I will watch my recording of the show tonight,  and be back tomorrow with a wrap up.  This oscar thing can't go on forever (although it feels like it could)!  Until tomorrow,  have a great day! 

Back from the eye doctor. Still have perfect vision!!

I just got back from going to my eye appointment,  which we'll get to in a minute.  First,  I wanted to let all of you (5),  know that I rented American Gangster last night.  I loved it!  I have always liked Denzel,  and have liked a few movies from Mr. Crowe,  but this movie was excellent!  I think I may even buy it (which anyone who knows me,  knows I hardly ever buy movies to own).  I used the new "red box" dvd movie rental system.  For only $1.00 you can rent a movie.  Not to shabby!  I had gone to Albertson's to do some shopping anyway,  so I thought I'd see I'f the movie was at the red box there.  It wasn't in stock.  So,  determined to watch it last night,  I drove to Smith's which also has a red box.  When I got there,  this woman with her daughter who was about 3 or 4 years old (the daughter,  not the mom),  were both picking out a couple movies.  About 10 minutes later.....  Hello!  I need my movie,  and I want it now!  When you let a child pick a movie,  it tends to take a little longer (o.k. even some adults are just as bad)!  I finally got up to the screen,  and it was in!  Great movie.  I recommend everyone watch it (except that little girl)!  So today,  I went to return it,  no problem.  But I wanted to rent Michael Clayton,  which was out.  So I drove to Albertson's,  to see If it was in at the red box there.  I walked in,  and the red box is next to a u.s. bank a.t.m machine.  This woman was standing in the middle of both the red box and the a.t.m.( and talking on her cell phone,  while standing there)!   I couldn't tell I'f she was waiting for the red box or the a.t.m. There was somebody using the a.t.m. in front of her,  so I assumed (which you never  do,  I think we all know what happens) that she was waiting to use that,  and not the red box.  So I cut in front of her,  found my movie (hooray),  and started to leave.  As I was leaving,  she decided to use the red box.  At least she wasn't all in my face like "excuse me,  I am using that".  Which my response would have been "really?  then get off your damn cell phone,  and ACTUALLY use the machine".  But It didn't come to that,  and I have my movie!

O.K. now onto my eye appt.  So, I get there a few minutes early (10,  but who's counting),  to check in and to fill out paper work.  The receptionist,  whose name I didn't catch,  we'll call her mousy.  She just reminded me of a mousy type woman.  Anyway,  mousy asks me to fill out my form,  and she asks me I'f the D and the E in my last name are both capital's?  I tell her no,  The D and the J are.  Then she says as I hand her my forms,  "o.k. John I would offer you a seat,  but were in the process of remodeling the office".  John?  Try Christopher.  And the fact they're remodeling the office,  which is in Costco,  is hilarious!  The space is as big as my kitchen at home.  Mousy proceeds to call me john at least 3 more times,  while I'm waiting to see the Dr.  Then the Dr.  emerges from her office (nice effect huh),  and she asks mousy to take my eye measurements with that air blowing machine they use on each eye.  Well,  they just got all new equipment in yesterday,  but mousy wasn't there to learn how to use it (that would've been helpful for her).  She stands up from her desk,  and walks around to set up the equipment.  She's walking slower than an 80 year old woman.  She looks at me and says "I'm o.k. I was lifting some ice blocks yesterday,  and threw my back out."  Now we know where she was during training.  I was gonna offer to get her some ice for the pain but thought that would've been to cruel (actually,  I just thought of it as I was typing it.  I should've offered her some ice)!

I'm sitting there with my chin on the chin rest of the machine,  my forehead resting where it should be.  Mousy was trying to line up my pupils with a green light,  which she kept saying repeatedly "do you see the green light yet?"    No,  I don't,  I thought to myself sitting there.  Then she kept cursing under her breath lowly so I wouldn't hear her (but I did.  In fact,  some shoppers walking by the office with their carts heard her).  Then she apologized for swearing the 3 times she did swear.  I wanted to say "ooh,  no fucking problem!"  I was finally whisked away into the exam room,  had my eyes examined (clean bill of health),  and paid my bill.  I picked out a new set of frames,  which will be here in 2 weeks.  I'm so excited!  I haven't had new frames in 3 years.  The new frames I bought are made by Nike (who knew).  I will post a picture on here with my old frames,  and my new frames and you all (5) can tell me I'f you like them.  Finally,  I did send Kathy my usual weekly e-mail yesterday.  You can book her,  but you have to call this booking agency,  which handles kathy's shows she performs.  I'm going to call on monday,  and see how much it'll be to have her in montana.  Like I said yesterday,  donations will be accepted for this event.  Let me know!  Congratulations to J-Lo and Mark anthony.  They are the proud parents of twins,  one boy and one girl!  I'm sure they'll sell out to people or US weekly for the photos.  Can't wait to see them!  I will be back on monday with an oscar wrap up from sunday evening.  I have to tape them,  and then watch when I get home from work.  But,  you know I am not going to pass up on trashing bad fashion,  and who won and who didn't!  Until monday,  have a great weekend!  Kathy,  I love you,  and wish you'd write soon!!

Kathy G thursday. Now if only she'd perform in Montana!

Well,  another week has come and gone.  I wasn't feeling up to par as they say (why they use golf terminology to describe not feeling well,  is beyond me!) on tuesday evening.  I had body aches (and not the good kind,  like when your drooling over say a shirtless photo of hugh jackman),  and I just felt like crap!  So yesterday I pumped myself with advil (the proper dosage) and emergen-c (which kicks the snot out of anything).  Now,  I'm back to my old sarcastic self (hooray)!  I think I may have gotten food poisoning from the deli at Rosauers.  I had eaten the orange glazed sweet and sour chicken with white rice.  Don't ever get that dish from their deli (look out)!  

I read on line yesterday,  that P!nk (that's how she spells her name),  is getting a divorce from her hubby.  She's way too much of a party rock princess,  to be tied down with a husband.  Now,  maybe a  few man slaves,  that I can see.  I love P!nk.  I know she's gotten a lot of slack in the past,  but I think I like her so much,  because she's the bad girl in all of us gay men that we wanna be! (minus the pierced tongue and gold teeth).  I bet I'f you called her a lady,  she'd kick your ass!  Go P!nk!  And yet,  another britney update.  She was seen partying with,  of all people her own father!  She should've called me.  I would've gone out with you brit!  I mean,  come on.  That's like your dad dropping you off in front of the school when you were a child,  and he wouldn't leave as soon as he pulled in front of the curb.  So your trying to leave the car a.s.a.p. so that the "cool kids" (hell,  ANY kid), don't see your dad (or mom.  Let's not forget mom,  she may actually be the parent who draws more attention to you than dad).  Your walking up the sidewalk,  which feels like the longest walk in history of mankind.  As your walking up to the doors of the school,  halfway on the sidewalk,  you hear mom or dad shout "have a great day!" Or  "get good grades",  or "be sure to flush".  You get my point.  It's embarrassing.  Then some of the other kids ask you who that was,  and your trying to come up with a believable answer.  So you say something like "who?  Ooh that was my crazy neighbor who lives across the street from me".  You have to mention someone who isn't related to you in ANY way,  not even a 3rd cousin,  or you'll never hear the end of it for the rest of the school year!    Good times!

I am going to rent Michael Clayton and American gangster tonight,  and give you a full review tomorrow.  Also,  I am going to the eye doctor tomorrow for an eye exam (obviously),  and to pick out new frames.  I'll talk about that as well.  I am going to e-mail Kathy (shocker),  but I am also going to see how much it would cost to bring her to perform in Montana.  I may have to have several people give me a donation,  to get her here.  I will let you know what happens on that end also.  Hope everyone (all 5 readers still!  Thanks all),  are doing well.  C U tomorrow!  

Holy cow! Almost 2 weeks since my last blog, and I missed Kathy thursday last week. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!

I don't know what has come over me.  I have NEVER waited this long to write a blog,  since I started almost 6 weeks ago.  Maybe it's the weather?  Maybe it's a long and overcast full moon?  Who knows.  I am going to try my hardest to write a blog more often.  I think the problem may be that there isn't really interesting to write about (who am I kidding!  There's always something to write about).  Let's dive right in.  Apparently the "big" story I keep seeing on the internet is that Gary Coleman got married.  O.K. you'd think that statement would be enough,  and everything would be said and done with it.  WRONG!  They are talking about his new marriage,  like brad and angelina adopting another village.  Who cares.  Yes,  I'm happy that "arnold" finally tied the knot (or was tied into a knot,  whichever),  but they keep talking about it.  I'd rather see a kitten rescued from a tree,  from a shirtless fireman but we can't always get what we want,  now can we!  Let gary and his new bride enjoy their new lives together,  and leave us out of it (please)!

On a much happier note.  The writer's strike is finally over!  Hooray!  Most of the shows that were affected by the strike,  plan to pump out 6-7 episodes before the season is over.  I am so happy!  New housewives,  new betty,  new Oprah.  Ooh wait,  she didn't even go on strike.  I am also excited (when aren't I),  because spring also means new c.d. season.  Janet drops hew new c.d. next tuesday (and who has it on order already?  Hmm),  and the B-52's have a new disc coming out in april,  as well as Panic at the disco.  They dropped the exclamation from the end of the group's title!  So now I'm using it every chance I get!  It's actually annoying!  stop it!!

I never got to watch the Grammy awards last week.  I heard that Beyonce' dissed Aretha,  and said she wasn't the queen of soul,  that Tina was.  You 3 queens need to take it outside,  and duke it out!  Watch the face.  And what's with beyonce' always wearing gowns that have sequins and beading on them,  like she's competing for miss u.s.a.?  They do make gowns that DON'T have to sparkle!  It's called picking up a catalog.  Read it sister!  (So much for meeting her now).

That's all I got for today.  I'll be back (promise),  in a couple days.  Hope kathy isn't too upset,  that I forgot to send her my weekly hello e-mail (she's probably thinking thank god he finally gave up!).  Until we (me) writes again,  Have a good one!  (Have 2 for me!)  Holla!  I'm O-U-T!

   

I'M BACK! AND JUST IN TIME FOR KATHY GRIFFIN THURSDAY!

O.K.  After a long break (over a week,  and still not tanner),  I am back!  This blog spot is my outlet to voice my opinion on life in general,  and I'm  not going to just stop and not do it anymore (2 words-PA LEEZ)!  With that said,  we have a lot to catch up on so let's get started.  I was surprised (o.k. not really,  just a dramatic affect) that Eva Longoria's new movie Over Her Dead Body,  finished in 11th place over this past weekend.  I still wanna see it,  but I think I'll wait for the d.v.d.  I am going to go see There Will Be Blood tomorrow night.  It better be as good as the hype,  or there will be blood for a refund from the box office (o.k. more like a please may I have a refund)!  Britney is out of the hospital.  And her parents were quoted as saying "we are worried about her."  Hmm.  YA THINK!  Call me crazy (don't actually),  but I think maybe you finally have something right for once.  You all need help as a family,  and you should all go to counseling together.  God,  I sound like DR. Phil!  Enough about that.  I wasn't able to watch the superbowl on sunday,  due to me working,  and becoming comatose at work from boredom.  I did watch the yahoo top 5 commercials from the big game on line.  Justin Timberlake's commercial for Pepsi was #1.  I thought it was funny.  The talking stained shirt for tide to go was also in their top 5.  Now they show it every chance they can get.  It is driving me nuts!  It was funny at first,  but it's one of those commercials that you can't watch more than a couple times.  Just kill the stain already!  I also missed Paula and Randy's pre recorded performance to their new song.  I heard that Tom petty was the half time entertainment,  but I am not certain.  Any reader that I have (all 5),  who know what happened with half time,  let me know.  Miss janet and her new album hits stores on the 26th of this month.  I,  of course already have it pre ordered through i-tunes.  I hope it's better than her last album,  20 y.o. or there will be blood (I couldn't resist)!  Paris Hilton was named "woman of the year" from harvard.  Harvard,  what are you thinking?  Aren't you supposed to be the smart and intelligent university,  not the vocational school?  I'd rather see the award given to somebody who deserves it,  like Kathy! (Like you all didn't see that suck up comment coming)!  I am glad to be back,  and I want to thank all my readers (still the 5).  I will be back tomorrow with another observation of life! 

Your gone for 2 days, and all heck breaks loose!

Since writing on my blog monday,  I can't believe how much stuff we need to catch up on (all 5 of us,  still waiting for Kathy)!  Yesterday was a huge day of events.  First off,  I read on line that Tyra (she should drop her last name,  and just be known by a single name you know like Cher or Celine) is going to develop a new reality show,  and the winner will land a fashion magazine contract,  to work at the magazine.  Now that's a show I WILL audition for!  I have fashion sense (o.k. their was the one time when I was at orientation for college,  and I wore vertical striped shorts with a horizontal shirt,  but other than that,  I've been on track).  I know not to wear white after labor day (t-shirts are o.k.) and not to wear white socks with dress shoes and dress pants (come on,  the Michael Jackson look with white socks and slacks is over!  Move along to the dress socks department)!  I will have to find out,  how to apply for the show.  Also yesterday,  I see that their going to make new versions of both Freddy Krueger,  and Friday the 29th,  I mean the 13th (Its been so long going.  When will Jason finally be able to rest in the lake in peace?) movies.  Of course being the horror/slasher movie fan that I am  (more like sucker),  I will go see both.  Then I'll go home from the movie,  and be in the bathroom getting ready for bed,  and fling the shower curtain open because I think they will both be waiting for me (although I do have a clear see through shower curtain.  Could you pass me my toothbrush?  Thanks Jason!) I can't believe that movies like that STILL make me scared after the fact.

Yesterday also saw 2 of our presidential hopefuls drop out of the race.  John Edwards (not bad looking.  He'd be good for a one nighter!) and Rudy Giuliani (he can finally go back to doing his drag routine in vegas at the freemont street theatre!)  Now we only have McCain (sounds like a bad sandwich named by McDonald's),  Romney,  Huckabee (I did see the movie,  not bad!),  Hilary,  and Obama.  I thought of this bumper sticker just this morning for Obama.  "Tell your mama,  to vote for Obama!"  Not bad (duh!)  And the race goes on.......

Last night was the big night,  The Blue Man Group concert.  It was very entertaining!  The "men" had a warm up act and his name was Mike Relm.  He was from San Fransisco (so gay),  and he used a combination of d.j. style mixing of scratching records,  and mixing it with images on a big t.v. screen.  25 minutes later (thank god!) he was done,  and the "men" came on the stage.  They put on a great show!  I was kinda hoping to see some nudity,  but no such luck!  Maybe that's a vegas thing!  Anyway,  they played music on huge drum barrels with multi colored light coming out of each one.  They had skits,  audience participation, ( blah,  blah,  blah).  I would love to see them again,  but in vegas.  They did say they were giving away a trip for 4 to see them in vegas at the venetian,  If you went to their website,  and subscribed to their newsletter. (you think Im going to give you the website,  so my chances are even slimmer of winning?  NO Way!  o.k. If you want it,  let me know,  and I'll give it to you!)

I also read on yahoo this morning about a little girl who's 10 years old,  earning a degree in vetarinary medicine.  I can't tie my shoes some mornings,  but she earned a degree!  Mind you,  If you take your pet to her,  make sure she knows your pet is a REAL dog or cat.  One slight distraction and she will not be paying attention to what she's doing!  "Look,  its britney going to the hospital,  for her mental illness!"  All of a sudden,  the needle slips out of her hands,  and lands on your pet where it shouldn't have!  Poor fluffy!

Finally,  the list of top "Cash Queens of Music"  were announced.  MADONNA was #1 (hooray!) followed by "babs" Barbara S.  Then Saline,  I mean Celine was 3rd.  Shakira (hoochie) was 4th. Beyonce was 5th,  Gwen Stephani (who's expecting her second child.  That trailer park is becoming a reality even faster) was 6th.  Christina A. was 7th,  followed by Faith Hill at 8th (Tim the hubby,  is so yummy!  Somebody stop me!  NO REALLY!) The Dixie Chicks were 9th,  and finally Mariah Carey was 10th (finally,  she cracked into the top 10 of some list!)  Britney ranked 14th (maybe it wasn't a good year for brit?  Just a feeling Im getting!)

That's all I have for this blog (thank god!  It was the longest I've ever written)!  Happy Kathy Griffin thursday!  I will be back on saturday with an update on the tryouts from monday,  and what part I received,  and also whether or not miss Kathy finally responds (I think we all know how that shapes up already)!  Have a good one!  and as Tim Gunn would say "Carry ON"! 

Its Tuesday already! The week's almost over ( o.k. not really!)

Well,  another weekend has come and gone.  The funny thing is,  I never really do anything fun (yeah,  serving pancakes is a blast!  LOL).  Friday evening,  I caught up on some t.v. I recorded from the previous week.  Celebrity apprentice was the normal boardroom antics (your fired!  I always wanted to say that!) with some olympic softball girl named jenny getting the axe (not literally)!  I also watched project runway.  This episode the designers had to make a garment out of levi's jeans and jackets (the company provided the materials for the challenge,  it wasn't some poor sap named "levi").  Some designs were good.  Others,  you get the idea!  Saturday evening I came home from work early (hooray!) and was flipping through the channels,  and flipping,  and flipping.  About 10 minutes had gone by.  How can nothing be on over 300 channels,  and on a saturday night (its unheard of)!  I finally watched of all movies "Texas chainsaw massacre,  the beginning".  It was the newer version from 2006.  I can' believe that story ACTUALLY happened!  They said so on a tag at the end of the movie!   This family killed 33 people from 79'-83'.  Holy cow!  Where are all the sheriff's and police?  How bout' the military? And don't tell me they were all busy taking a coffee/donut break (o.k. maybe they were,  just don't tell me!  Don't get me started.  Don't even get me started)!  movin' on.......

On sunday,  I finally got the answer to my burning question "did I get a part in the new equinox theatre production"?  HECK NO!  First off,  the director had told all of us that he would call us either way by friday,  since there were so few of us who turned out for the audition.  Friday came,  no call.  Saturday came,  no call.  Finally,  on sunday he sent me an e-mail,  saying he was trying to "lock down" the cast (go to your room!  no dessert for you!) and that's what had taken so long.  Maybe he should "lock down"  a finger on a keypad on a phone or a computer BEFORE sunday.  I mean,  really people!  If your going to promise something,  you should follow through.  At least TRY and follow through.  Look at Britney, ( a prime example).  I read on line yesterday that britney is ACTUALLY good for the u.s. economy.  She brings in $120 million per year (and she doesn't even have to lie on her back for it!  You go girl!)  who would have thought our little britney could be good for us ( I never saw that coming,  honest!)  Since I didn't get a part with the equinox theatre,  I auditioned last night for the firehouse 5 and The Music Man.

I will know by friday @ 5:00 p.m.  and they know how to keep a promise!

I'f any of you (all 5 readers,  still waiting for Kathy!  Love you Kathy!) like paula abdul,  and like randy jackson from american idol,  then you should go to i-tunes and play their new song.  Its danceable like we know paula to be!  I think you'll get the song in the 30 seconds you listen to it,  rather than buying the entire song for .99 cents.  Im still wondering If both of them are going to be singing the song at the super bowl?  We shall see.  

Finally,  I want to send a shout out to my friend Larry S.  who passed away last week.  I went to the memorial service yesterday,  and it was very touching and moving.  I have known larry for 8-9 years now,  and I learned some things about larry yesterday at the service I didn't know about him.  He was very artistic.  He brought a lot of humor and wit to everything in life and I will truly miss him!  Larry,  If you can have access to a computer in heaven,  please read this,  and know that my blog will forever be here for you to laugh at,  and I hope that one day,  when we meet again,  we'll be able to pick up our friendship were we left it off!  See you all on thursday with a blue man group review (yes,  Im going!)  and Kathy thursday!  Take care and stay warm and safe!  

I missed a day of blogging! Don't worry, I am here to catch you up!

O.K. I know I missed like 2 days worth of blog writing on here.  I was going to write my blog,  as usual yesterday,  but I wasn't feeling all that great.  I think it was something I ate the night before at work (don't let that confession detour you all from eating at the restaurant!) but now Im back! I just got a phone call on my cell,  from what is probably a collection agency,  looking for a Francis James.  Francis,  If you read this (highly unlikely),  please call Christa!  That way,  she ISN'T calling my cell number,  looking for you!  Thanks.  That would be great!  O.K. where was I? Ooh yes,  yesterday.  I wasn't feeling all that great,  so I decided to catch up on some of the shows I've recorded (apparently using the word "taping" is out.  Who knew!) from previous weeks,  that I hadn't watched yet.  I caught up on The Celebrity Apprentice (all 3 episodes to date).  Most of the celebrity's I have heard of.  A few I haven't.  Like,  for example some former playboy playmate named "Tiffany" (her real name or an alias,  who knows.)  The Donald fired her,  because during a team challenge,  she didn't call Mr. Hefner,  to get him to buy a hotdog for $1,000,000.  That better be one tasty dog!  Gene Simmons,  of kiss fame was fired last week.  I need to watch last night's episode (obviously),  to see who was kicked off.  Omarosa,  Is on this celebrity apprentice.  I remember when she was on The Surreal Life,  with Janice Dickenson and Omarosa pulled a butcher knife on Janice,  during a cast photo shoot.  The Bitch is crazy!  Moving on.  I haven't seen any of the American Idol auditions,  but I plan on watching tonight,  and will give you all (up to 5 reader's now),  an update!

Well,  even though I wasn't feeling good yesterday,  I still was able to go and see SWEENEY last night!  Ooh my god!  It was so good!  Can you tell how good it was!  Im using exclamat!ons way too much in my sentence!  Johnny was everything I hoped he'd be.  The movie was just amazing.  I plan on buying the d.v.d when it comes out (and I never buy d.v.d.'s!  O.K. I did buy the departed,  but that was a gift for mike for christmas,  so it doesn't count!)  He sang amazing,  the costumes,  the set,  the blood,  I mean it was just incredible.  I know he's nominated for best actor,  but I think he may have some competition,  what with Daniel Day Lewis,  and Viggio (and that naked sauna scene-yummers!) up against him also.  I looked at the list this morning before writing this blog,  and I have never heard of any of the best actress nominated movies,  expect Juno,  and the actress who plays her.  O.K. there is Laura Linney,  for her role about her dad,  and Kate Blanchett for her version of the queen (been there,  done that!) but there really isn't any one actress,  or film that they're in,  that stands out.  We shall see (hopefully),  who wins on feb. 25th.  I know most of you have heard that Heath Ledger died on tuesday.  I think we are all saddened at what has happened.  I just wanted to mention it,  and say how sad it is,  that we lost such a talented man.  

Well,  Im off to send this to Kathy,  with an apology for not sending it yesterday,  on Kathy G thursday ( I came up with that!) and I will let her know that I wasn't feeling well.  Maybe she'll send me an e-card,  and tell me she'd love to meet me (yeah,  right!) as soon as she has some free time!  Until next time,  I will see you on monday ( I need some material.) morning!  Take care and have a great weekend! 

Still freezing (both here in montana and in hollywood!)

O.K. I have my first retraction (and hopefully my last)!  Yesterday I mentioned that joel madden and nicole richie named their daughter winter.  Turns out that's her middle name.  Her first name is Harlow winter.  Whatever!  Maybe nicole should read a baby name book (or have someone read it to her,  and have common names read aloud.  Not names like paprika or black pepper) next time (Yikes!) she has her next child.  Thanks to my faithful reader buckycatt for the correction!  Now onto my audition last evening at the equinox theatre.  When I got there,  my friend debbie was already there,  as well as 2 other men.  I filled out my audition form,  picked up the copy of the script to read from (nicely marked I may ad!) sat and began to prepare.  About 15 minutes later,  who walks in to audition,  but miss Alexis (lap dance anyone)?  She walks in and says "How long do you think it will take?  I brought my dog,  and she's in my car but I left the car running so she'll stay warm."  WHAT!  O.K. its like -15 below,  and she brings her dog to an audition in the freezing cold!  Bad owner-Bad owner!  I told her that the director is taking people one by one,  according to where their name is on the sign in sheet (I was 3rd).  At this point about 6 of us were waiting to audition when Alexis stands up and says in her out loud voice " its too quiet out here (lobby of theatre),  how come no one is talking with each other?"  Hmmm.....Im going to go out on a limb here and say BECAUSE WERE ALL TRYING TO PREPARE FOR THE AUDITION!  Then she proceeds to sit in front of me on the floor to visit with me.  She then says  "I think I'll come back in 30 minutes.  I want to run to the store while Im waiting,  and go by myself some cake,  then I'll eat it while I wait."

Honey,  don't you know the first rule of auditioning?  You stop at the store AFTER your audition,  and buy junk food to ease the pain of how awful you read!  (Or to celebrate how great you did)!  I think I read really well.  Im proud of how I did,  and I'll find out on friday either way

(as well as all of you!  It could be good or bad.  Let's find out together shall we!)  

Now onto the Oscar Nominations.  I read most of them this morning on line.  It looks like the frontrunners are no country for old men  (8 total)  atonement,  although keira knightly was snubbed for best actress,  and so was the director (poor keira),  george clooney for nominated for his lawyer movie (drawing a blank at the moment).  I was surprised (and I mean surprised) when I read that Viggio was nominated for eastern promises ( that steam room scene with him naked and you seeing his junk and all.  Now that's the clip they should show during the awards show)!  And yes,  Johnny was nominated for sweeney.  Although tim burton wasn't for direction.  I will run down the entire nominee list tomorrow (and probably have to correct yet again more retractions due to my mistakes in what I read about the nominees!  OOPS)!  I need to go make sure my car starts,  I will see all tomorrow (or thursday).  Stay warm!