Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Feel like I am in the Hitchcock movie The Birds (please, don't feed!)

I have noticed recently, several black crows, flying about on the roof tops of my neighbors townhouses (as well as mine). I feel If I leave the house, they'll all come towards me and peck my eyes out to death! Good thing I have protection (eye condoms)! What will be, will be. My back is feeling better than it was last week. I still have pain off and on, but the intensity isn't there as much. I even have some muscle relaxers left to take If and when I need them ( bad druggie)! I plan to get a massage later in the week.

It's snowing, yet again! I need to move to a warmer climate ( I here Colorado is nice). But, then I would gripe, complain, bitch, and moan about the weather being TOO warm ( what time is the early bird dinner)? I love warmer weather, but not warm enough to make me feel like I have been sitting in a sauna all day! Besides, I don't look good shirtless ( I am whiter than an envelope).

Watched the usual Monday night t.v. Intervention and Hoarders. They both make me feel better about my own life when I watch them (while drinking my glass of wine, on my unclean couch cushions). The one hoarder they showed, was living in such bad conditions, she had to set up a mini fridge and a microwave in the hallway outside her bedroom. They showed her making her dinner (frozen microwaved, processed foods-AGAIN)! She had a house fire several years ago, and the support beams were starting to collapse inside the place. On top of that, her favorite couch ( which they finally found), was infested with mouse droppings! And she wanted to keep it (you think Mickey and Minnie would even sit in that thing? No ma'am). I am glad she got the help, she desperately needed. I wish they'd make a follow up show, to see If the hoarders kept up with the clutter.

I saw yet ANOTHER dumb ass commercial for Viagra! A man was walking to his "Dr. Appt." As he was walking down the street, he sees his reflection in a window, and the reflection says to him "are you gonna ask the Dr. THIS time about Viagra"? Uumm, maybe you be asking the Dr. about the "voices" that are talking back to you. Just a thought.

Until next time......

Monday, January 18, 2010

Back pain, and a hot water bottle!

Imagine my surprise, when I was sitting at the kitchen table on Sunday afternoon, checking my e-mail ( and face book), when I went to stand up, and my back went out! The pain was VERY intense. I had been fine all morning, prior to this happening. I was debating on whether or not, I wanted to go to Urgent Care ( so urgent-emergency), or if I could withstand the pain until Monday morning to wait for my regular doctor. I, of course waited until Monday morning. When I got to the office to check in, NO ONE was able to check me in! Only because a group of front desk employees were huddled around a circle talking about their weekends, over morning coffee. HELLO! Patient in pain here!

As I was waiting to be seen, several other people were waiting to see their doctor's. Mostly the more mature crowd shall we say ( and I did). I have never seen so many mature people in the same room (3 or 4 but to me, that's a lot)! Several of them, were all grumpy, weren't smiling, and seemed like they didn't wanna be there ( imagine that)! They were sitting there, drinking the complimentary coffee, reading the expired magazines from 3 months ago, waiting for their names to be called by a nurse (roll call). As I sat there, I thought to myself is this what I have to look forward to? Terrible coffee, expired magazines? If so, I don't wannna subscribe!

As I was walking back to the exam room with the nurse, she asked me "how are you doing"? I said, "good. you"? That is obviously a lie! Why do health care providers ask us that anyway? We are obviously NOT fine or doing GOOD, or would we be there? I think not! Next time I go to the doctor, and they ask me that question, I am gonna be honest. "I am doing shitty" or "how do you think I am doing"? Im not fine. I am in pain. From the stupid question you already know the answer to!

When the doctor FINALLY came to examine me, I about died ( good thing I was at the hospital). She looked like she just woke up, rolled outta bed, threw some clothes on ( frumpy and not ironed I might add), and came into work. I am in pain beyond belief, but I STILL managed to brush my teeth before I came to see you. Have you heard of a COMB! Let me go buy you one!

Needless to say, I was given some muscle relaxers, and was told to apply hot or cold pressure on my back. They may do an MRI, If my back doesn't heal by next week ( ooh goodey, a big ass needle shooting dye in my spine. good times)! I will keep you posted. For now, I plan on surfing the web, watching WAY too much daytime television, and becoming BFF'S with my new friend the muscle relaxer. Next stop, Intervention!

Until next time..........

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Ga-Ga on O-O-O -P-A RAH!

Imagine my surprise, when I found out that Ga-Ga was going to be on Orpah yesterday ( very surprised). Not only was Ga-Ga awesome as always ( did you have a doubt), but even Oprah was turning into a little monster, dancing up a storm to Bad Romance
( work that bitch ca-ra-z). Ga-Ga had a wardrobe malfunction ( no, she wasn't showing a nipp), while wearing her black studded outfit. The left shoulder piece, which was a huge studded ball, wouldn't stay up for her ( safety pins anyone)? Ga-Ga then jumped onto the hood of a propped taxi cab, and tried to smash the windshield with a mid-evil ball and chain. The windshield didn't smash, but I give Ga-Ga an a for effort (holla)!

I can't wait to see Adam Lambert on Tuesday's O. Susan Boyle will also be on there as well. I have my DVR set to tape ( DUH)!

Sigourney Weaver is having second thoughts about reprising her role in the new ghostbusters sequel. She's reconsidering the role, because everyone from the original GB is on board for the movie ( even the marshmellow man). I hope she does it (she will, won't she? She'd betta)!

Jessica Simpson ( mom jeans) is apparently working with former front man of The Smashing Pumpkins Billy Corgan, on her next album. I wonder what that'll be like? A trainwreck? Car crash? Punch in the face? I think you get the point ( we had it back at the beginning of this sentence)!

A good friend, was bit my a dog yesterday, while he was going on a walk. He called me, told me he was going to the doctor for an examination. The dog bit him on the crotch! OOH YES, I said it! CROTCH! Talk about painful. The owner of the dog, who bit Norm just kept walking away from him, as he tried to tell this A-hole that his dog bit him. We were all laughing when Norm was telling us last night over drinks ( cosmos rock!) about calling the police to file a report. Showing the officer the "evidence" as it were. Then having your boss's husband be your doctor, and having to drop drawer for the exam!

Needless to say, Norm was given no stiches, but REALLY good pain meds. He also has to buy new underwear, due to the officer keeping his underwear as evidence ( sure it is, perv)! He can't wear boxers, or boxer briefs, because his junk needs to be close up in a pair of plain old briefs. Doesn't this sound like a good episode for a sitcom ( I will take bids now).

Until next time.......

Friday, January 15, 2010

Pants on the Ground. Pick em up!

I was just on Face book, chatting with a great friend (HI) and I was telling her about the American idol from Wednesday night, and the Pants On The Ground song. She hadn't seen it. I just went on to You Tube, where I wanted to forward it to her, and they removed it, due to the content not falling in the guidelines of the site. REALLY? You Tube will show a person licking a donut erocitally, wearing a tube top and sweats ( I didn't see this on there, but now that I think about it) and KEEP it up, but they yank off the one video, which had gotten well over 1 million hits! What's wrong with this picture? If someone finds it, let me know!

Several celebrity's have stepped up efforts, to help with the disaster in Haiti. Madge ( a.k.a. Madonna), has donated $250,000 dollars! I always loved the material girl for her generosity! George Clooney is organizing a telethon with M T.V. ( interesting combo). I think George should give himself to the highest donation for the evening. I wonder if my bank will loan me the money? A night with Mr. Clooney sounds like heaven! Or Hell! You don't know, he may wanna watch Oceans 10-15! Naked of course!

Project Rundown, I mean Runway premeired last night. I have missed you! The 1st to go, was some sloppy designer who claims she had 2 of her pieces on the red carpet. Yeah, the red velvet rope they use on the brass poles! So long, farewell!

Matthew Morrison, who plays the sexy, curly haired teacher on GLEE, has signed his own record deal. It will be out in the spring. I plan on burning my friend Buckycatt's copy. He better be as good as Ga-Ga, or in the shredder the c.d. goes.

Rosie O'Donnell slammed Jay leno on her Sirius radio talk show, saying he needs to step off the bus, and let someone else take the wheel ( I assume she's talking about Conan). Since she likes to use metaphore, someone needs to stop using metaphore, and say what's on her actual mind (besides a candy bar)! Your a lesbian, you've ALWAYS said what's on your minds! Don't stop now ( o.k. please stop).

Get ready for The Golden Globes on Sunday (no, not Sharon Stones knockers). Until next time.........

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Not a single post since April-2009! Damn!

O.K. I admit it. When it comes to keeping up on something as simple as a blog, and writing on it even 1 week at a time, I am a slacker! I just discovered facebook a few months ago, and now I am there posting comments, more than I am on my blog. Well, your limited to the number of words (425 to be exact), in which you can post a comment. I have a lot to say, and that just won't do! So, I decided to reuse my blog and say what I wanna say, without being told I need to keep it to a minimum (hooray)!

Since last April, I had moved to Billings to attend college. That lasted 2 months. It wasn't any fault on my part. I couldn't find a job to save my life! I couldn't even get hired at McDonald's (that's pretty bad). I had no choice, but to move back to Bozeman. I worked RETAIL for the holidays, to make some money while I continued (and still do), to find a fulll time job. I have had a few interviews, but nothing has panned out. I know something will come thru for me, it always does, but I am tired of waiting!

Now, onto entertainment news (finally). American Idol started back up on Tuesday night. With Paula gone (miss you), Idol has replaced her with celebrity judges during the city to city auditions. Victoria beckham was the guest judge on Tuesday. I liked her.
She was honest with the contestants, but not rude or mean to them. Unlike Kara. There's something about Kara, that drives me crazy! I just don't see her as a good fit for a judge (never had). She was all touchy feely with Victoria, like they had been BFF'S all their lives on Tuesday night. I could tell Victoria was sitting there, thinking "get this bitch away from me, or she gets it with my straw from from my diet coke"!

Wednesday night wasn't any better. Mary J Blige, who I LOVE was the guest judge. I was expecting her to be blunt, bold, and tell it like it is Mary. Instead, she hardly was allowed to give any critique to the contesants, and when they DID show her, they showed her in the worst possible way! They showed her giggling, laughing, and snickering with her hand covering her mouth (we can STILL see you) at the contestants, as they attempted to audition. I thought she made herself the Queen of Rudeness!

She did have some great critiques, when she WAS being shown in a more serious manner. Hopefully next week's guest judges won't be so rude and crude (doubtful).

Poor Heidi-Montag-Pratt. She has her debut album (c.d. for you younger readers), coming out! I don't know when (or care)!
She apparently spent OVER 2 million dollars into this project (what a waste of money)! She said she wanted a quality album just like Britney Spears! The only difference between the both of you, IS your qualities and you don't have ANY! You should've thought about your qualitities, when you married that dufus of a man named Spencer! I had to laugh (its good for you, try it),
when I also read that heidi "THINKS" she's going to outsell Michael jackson the king of pop, in all time record sales! WHAT!

Bitch Pa-leez! The ONLY was YOUR gonna outsell Michael, is by sleeping with EVERY person on the planet, and GIVING them your nasty ass album as a forget me not! WHY won't you go away, and leave US alone? We already have ENOUGH people we have to deal with! WE don't need or want you in our lives! Your worse than the H1N1 Virus! Or a bad stain on a favorite pair of jeans that WON'T GO AWAY! I am asking you nicely (and that takes alot), to go find a shack somewhere, and NEVER leave it!

Have you seen Michelle O'Bama's new hair do? LOVE IT!!!!!

Lastly, the earthquake in Haiti is obviously a huge tradegy and loss for all of us. Now, throw in Pat Robertson's dumb ass reasoning behind the earthquake (must we)? He was quoted on his top rated show The 700 Club (that's how many people watch it). The reason the earthquake happened, was due to a pact made with the devil. Hmmm. I think he meant to say HIS pact witht the devil! Does he think the devil had NOTHING better to do, than to one day decide to make a pact with Haiti? I think the devil HAS better things to do, like give us "reality" stars that WON'T go away, Hot Pockets, bad coffee, Chef Anne Burrell, just to name a few. O.K. Pat, go back to your imaginary land inside your mind, and take a 10 year nap!

Until next time.......